The Energy of Hidden Emotions
by Dartxni
Summary: Matilda Femslash . Matilda's hidden feelings for Miss Honey are coming out in surprising and uncontrollable ways. Based on a combination of book and movie. Matilda is 15 in this fic, and Jenny is 30, so mind the age gap. RnR please, it makes me happy.
1. Passion

_**A/N:** The last time I wrote in this fanfic was 4 years ago. I completely understand if my readers have lost all faith in me. But give it a chance. In that time my writing style has changed, for the better, I think, and I just revised everything I had done so far as well as writing an additional two chapters. Regardless, it is still unbetta'd so, go easy on me when it comes to punctuation and stuff. If your really lucky, I might just finish this thing. It looks more likely every day. **I just decided that Matilda should not graduate quite yet. She's going to graduate next Christmas instead. I've edited this chapter to reflect that. **  
_

Title: The Energy Of Hidden Emotions

Fandom: Matilda (combination movie and bookvers)

Rating: M

Pairing: Matilda/Jennifer

Summery: 9 years after being adopted by Miss Honey, Matilda's power resurfaces, stronger and now uncontrollable. With it comes new uncomfortable feelings, centered on the woman who is her legal guardian.

Warning: [Age squick] [femslash] I cannot say this enough. In this fanfic, Matilda is 15 and Jenny is 30. If this squicks you, don't read the fic, and especially, don't flame me for something I warned you about to begin with.

Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I make no money by using their names and history. Please don't sue, I have no money.

Matilda quickly did all the problems in her Calculus homework, not spending more than a few seconds on every problem. She didn't even double check her work. This wasn't lazines on her part, she simply had a mind that worked like a calculator and knew it. She went through her Quantum Mechanics classwork with similar speed. Despite the fact that she was a 15 year old taking advanced collage classes, she cut through her homework like a warm knife through butter.

More interesting to her by far were the Humanities and the Social Sciences. These could occupy her mind much more thoroughly. Math was instinctual for her; it barely strained her brain. After she understood a concept she had it, so she often found the repetitive homework that her teachers gave her to be a bore. After all is a calculator excited about number crunching?

She had an essay due for her Religions class. 'How Eastern Thought Changes, and Is Changed By The West.' The class was only a survey class, but Matilda had become interested enough in the class that she hoped to take a more in-depth one in the future.

"Matilda, dear, set the table please?"

"I'll be right there." Matilda said as she moved to get out of her chair. Wait. She suddenly had a thought and had better write it down before she lost it.

Five minutes later, Miss Honey, or Jenny as Matilda called her was standing at the doorway with an amused smile on her face. Matilda looked up at her guiltily.

"Dear, you know your Homework can wait, but dinner will get cold."

"Sorry, I was just so engaged I forgot about it. It's a thoroughly fascinating subject you know."

Jenny laughed. It was a beautiful sound, like charms in the wind. Matilda had long ago come to the conclusion that everything Jenny did was beautiful and perfect. This was understandable when you examined the horror of Matilda's former life with her family.

Jenny leaned over Matilda and scanned the title and the first paragraph of her essay. The floral scent she was wearing washed over Matilda, causing her to smile shyly, although Jenny could not see it.

"Looks like it" Jenny agreed.

Matilda followed Jenny to the dining room, where Jenny had already set the table. Potato soup was for dinner, with buttered bread rolls and Hawaiian punch. Looking at the table set for two, Matilda had another bout of guilt.

"I'm sorry, I really should have set the table." Ever since Jenny had adopted her, Matilda had been incredibly grateful. Wise beyond her years, Matilda knew that it could not be easy for the young single woman to raise a teenager, so she tried to do everything within her power to make it easier. Forgetting a simple chore was simply inexcusable. But then, when Matilda was engaged in educational pursuits she often forgot about the world entirely, and all responsibilities she might have. She sometimes felt like she was letting Miss Honey down horribly.

But Jenny never rebuked her. She was not that kind of person. Jenny had, in Matilda's prejudiced mind, the temperament of a saint, somewhere on pair with Gandhi. But of course Matilda was biased.

"You're being uncommonly quiet." Jenny remarked, over her soup.

"Oh, yeah...." was the very intelligent sentence that came out of Matilda's mouth. Lost in thoughts about her amazing friend and gardian, she had gone completely silent. She searched for something to say, and finally what came out was, " I can't decide what I want to be." That was not what Matilda had been thinking about, but sometimes its better not to say what's on your mind, such as when you thinking of recommending a friend up for canonization. Besides, it was something Matilda had been ruminating over.

Jenny brought her napkin up to her lips to hide a smile "Oh?"

"I wonder whether I should be a quantum physicist or a teacher. I can't tell which is more important. I want to do something important, you know. Then again, a job with the UN is quite intriguing to me as well."

"So you enjoyed being a Junior Ambassador then?"

At fifteen, Matilda had been the youngest of a group of college students chosen to intern at the United Nations in New York.

"Oh yes. I was really inspired to help disadvantaged nations and to protect peace and promote pluralism in world."

"I can see why you would be interested in those careers." Miss Honey acknowledged. She reached across the table and patted the girl on the arm. "But dear, I don't think you should bother yourself too much over the question. You have years yet before any sort of decision needs to be made."

"But I'm graduating next year, shouldn't I think about narrowing my spectrum of interests?" Matilda argued.

Matilda had entered college when she turned Twelve. Having already completed many general ed. courses through home studies before entering college, she was able to concentrate on her major's requirements. After completing this terms courses, she would have to complete just a few more units next fall term. She'd be ready for her diploma by Christmas.

"Not at all! You're the only person I have ever met who was attempting to graduate College with triple majors in Math, Physics and Political Science as well as a minor psychology." The respect Jenny had for Matilda's genius was quite evident in her voice.

"Thus far you've proved to have no need to specialize. I don't see why you should now. And I want you to know that you should feel no pressure to get a job. I made a promise to myself years ago when I saw that you would fly through college that I would not even allow you to get a job until you turned twenty. Especially, I don't want you to think about money. The money I inherited can continue to sustain us, as well as my teachers salary."

Matilda looked down into her soup bowl. Whatever Jenny said, she still wondered about the future. Mostly she wondered how long it would be until Jenny did not want her to live with her anymore. She was sure that she was the reason that Miss Honey had never married.

Before bed that night Jenny went through her usual routine. She went to Matilda's room to tell her good night. It wasn't a tucking in thing as much as a social thing. Sometimes they sat up and talked for a few minutes.

"Hey." Jenny said softly, Matilda was already in bed.

"Hi." Matilda responded, pulling her blankets around her.

"Don't stay up too late thinking about the future, Ok? Your 15 years old, no matter what your IQ is."

"But I'm mature, right?"

"Your very mature, dear. Sometimes."

Matilda mock growled.

"Good night," said Jenny.

"Good night," echoed Matilda.

Miss Jenny leaned over and placed a kiss on Matilda's head as if she was her mother. But not really like her mother. Matilda's real mother had never cared to do such a thing.

"Sweet dreams." Jenny whispered.

"You too."

Jenny was leaving the room. Matilda sat up and Jenny turned to look at her.

"Jenny, I love you."

"I love you too dear."

When Jenny was gone, Matilda felt tears appear on her face. This had begun to happen often after Jenny left at night. For all her smarts Matilda did not know the reason for the tears. She reached up and touched them, wondering why they had come.

That night Matilda had the first of a series of dreams that would change her life. It began innocently enough:

* * *

Matilda was painting, a common hobby of hers. The subject of the painting was Jenny, also not unusual. Jenny was sitting on the porch pouring a cup of tea. She brought it to her mouth and took a sip, smiling as she did.

"Please do not move, Jennifer." That was odd, Matilda never called Miss Honey Jennifer, Jenny, but not Jennifer.

Jenny smiled and poured another cup of tea, beckoning Matilda toward her. Matilda reluctantly abandoned her easel and took the cup, bringing the raspberry tea to her lips. This was where the dream diverged entirely from any reality that Matilda knew. Instead of the sweet sour taste of raspberry tea, Matilda felt lips cover her own with the exact amount of pressure as the lips that had sent her to bed.

Matilda kissed back, wanting to feel more but the lips drew away. She made a sound, strange to her ears, an involuntary whine. She was pulled against a warm body, softness enveloping her everywhere. It felt amazing, like being home, and being loved totally. She did not want the sensation to ever end.

The unrelenting bleat of her alarm pulled her unhappily from the dream. She reached up to shut it off, and then her arm fell down beside her. She felt warm all over, as if the thermostat in her room was on high. At first she didn't think of the dream accept to wish it had continued, but gradually her mind began to awaken.

* * *

Looking into the bathroom mirror, Matilda thought about the dream she had just had. She had been dreaming of kissing Jenny. Rationally, Matilda knew that she should not be embarrassed at the dream. Sexual dreams were a common occurrence for everyone, and not something to be taken seriously. If they needed to be analyzed at all, most professionals would agree that such dreams meant that a person only wanted to become closer to another in a friendship sort of way.

Just the same, Matilda had never had a sexual dream before. It wasn't something she could just dismiss without examining.

She grabbed for her toothbrush, but it fell off the counter before she'd picked it up. She picked it up, washed it off, put on some paste and shoved it into her mouth, thinking hard.

At first Matilda skirted away from the identity of the person she had been dreaming about. She thought about the fact that it had been a woman in her dream. Was she a lesbian? She had never thought about it before. Most of the people her own age, in fact everyone her own age, were really too immature for her to crush on. She imagined in her mind two people, the headline characters of a recent movie she had seen. Who was cuter, Leonardo Di Caprio or Kate Winslet of the Titanic? Well, she thought both were cute. That didn't really help at all. Maybe she should ask Jenny how to know for sure. She blushed, Jenny might ask why she was asking and even if her dream had a totally unromantic cause attached to it, telling Jenny the identity of her dream lover was not an option. Besides, she knew what Jenny would say, "You have years to decide things yet." Most likely in those exact words.

"Good morning Matilda."

Matilda could not help smile and blush at Jenny as she came into the bathroom and grabbed her own toothbrush.

"G'morn." Matilda mumbled past her toothbrush.

After she had rinsed and spat Matilda could not help but ask. "Jenny, why have you never married?"

Jenny chocked on the toothpaste in her mouth and spat quickly. " Huh? Why do you ask?"

Matilda shrugged.

"If you have to know, I haven't found my special someone yet."

"Its not because of me at all?"

"No! Why would you think that?" Jenny rinsed her mouth and dried her face, then turned to face Matilda.

Matilda looked at the ground, shrugging again. "I don't know. You never date."

Jenny put her hand on Matilda's cheek, causing Matilda's face to flare red again.

"Matilda. Having you at the house doesn't limit me at all. You've been perfectly capable of taking care of yourself for years. Do you think I wouldn't date if I wanted to?

Matilda stopped evading Jenny's eyes. "Alright. I guess your right."

Jenny dropped her hand from Matilda's cheek and began brushing her own hair. "Of course I am."

Suddenly, Matilda had a thought. "If I'm not the reason you don't date, what is?"

But Jenny just turned the question agianst her. "The real question is why don't you date? Your fifteen after all."

Matilda blushed yet again. "I…I…well I'm not interested in anybody, really."

Jenny looked pointedly at her through the mirror. "Well, there you go. That's why I don't date either."


	2. Power

Matilda dribbled up the line as fast as she could. She outran one of the midfielders but the defense soon boxed her in. She was forced to pass the ball ahead to her fellow teammate, a forward who went by nickname of Cinnamon, who was herself being hounded pretty well. Unfortunately the ball was stolen when the Maroon Tiger's number 23 aggressively headed the ball to her own team. Matilda slowed for barely a second to turn around than headed back up the field. To her frustration, the ball had found its way into their goal before she was in any position to help.

After the game, the team that called themselves the Red Avengers gathered around their coach sullenly. Disappointment was heavy on the air.

Coach Ramón looked around at the solemn group. "You guys all played very well." She said, continuing on without acknowledging the mutters of protest among the group, "Of course you didn't play perfectly. There is always room for improvement. Shauna in particular, I was disappointed with the defense; you could have rallied them better."

Shauna was the team captain. She played center midfielder and had near complete control of defense for the team. She had confessed to the team earlier while in the locker room that she had cramps, but was unwilling to tell the Coach for fear that she would be switched out. It had put her off her game.

"But still, the other team was in top form today. You can be proud you played against a team of that caliber, and they only got off one shot on us. The Canaries, whom you defeated 2 weeks ago, lost to them by 4."

After the soccer game Matilda was pulling off her uniform, which stuck to her skin with sweat, when she felt a hand push her into the locker.

"What the heck!" She yelled, turning to confront her attacker.

"Why didn't you pass the ball to me!"

"Shauna, what are you talking about?"

"The ball, you stupidly sent it to Cinnamon and she wasn't even open."

"I had no one else to send it to."

"You're so stupid Matilda. I was open right behind you."

Matilda shook her head trying to recall the incident. "Shauna, I did not see you. If I made a mistake I'm sorry. There was no way for me to know you were there unless you told me."

"So now it's my fault." Shauna took a step toward Matilda and Matilda took a step back, bumping against the wooden bench behind her. Shauna was a muscular girl, not usually a bully, but taller and heavier than most girls. Her hair was cut boyishly short, and her face was still red from the game. She smelled faintly of sweat.

Matilda felt mildly intimidated, but she was not the sort of girl to back down when she felt she was right. She had had years of experience not backing down to bullies. By now it was habit.

"Whatever you think, I'm not telepathic, you know. You didn't call out. In fact I was wondering where my backup was."

There was a strange twitch in the girl's face at that, in fact, her whole attitude changed. Suddenly she was smiling in an almost goofy way.

"I thought your were."

"What do you mean?"

"Telepathic."

"Oh, that."

"There's been this rumor going around for years that you have strange powers."

Matilda's mouth quirked its own grin, a slightly scary one that said plainly, 'I know something.' It was the sort of grin calculated to make bullies feel a small inner voice of caution.

Matilda crossed her eyes and 'looked' at Shauna intently.

Shauna leaped back in alarm, almost plastering herself against the opposing locker in an effort to get away. "Don't do anything to me!" she almost begged.

Matilda let out a peal of laughter. She bent over with the force of the giggles wracking her body. "You should ha…" she breathed heavily, "you should have _seen_ your face."

Realizing that nothing paranormal had occurred, Shauna contemplated creaming Matilda. But then, she wasn't really a bully, just pissed at herself and looking to pass the blame. She ruefully conceded that Matilda had gotten her good.

"So they are just rumors?" Shauna asked, turning her back as she allowed Matilda to finish changing out of her uniform.

Matilda shot her a sly look. "I didn't say that."

Once they had emerged into the sunshine, Shauna decided to walk Matilda home. They had been playing soccer at the high school field and using the school lockers. Although she was not enrolled there, Matilda had gotten special permission to play on the high school team, preferring it to college sports with an older crowd. One thing she missed though, was the sense of comradeship other girls on the team had with each other, having grown up knowing each other and also connecting in classrooms. Matilda was known at the high school, but only as the strange genius girl who played soccer.

"What did you mean back there?" Shauna asked. "Do you really have powers?"

Matilda sighed; regretted somewhat the strangeness of her childhood. "The rumors about me are highly exaggerated," was all she could say.

Jenny was sitting on the porch, enjoying the sunshine as she graded a stack of papers. Looking down the street she saw Matilda walking down the street with her soccer bag slung over her shoulder. What was unusual was that Matilda was talking animatedly with another girl as she walked. Jenny smiled, glad to see Matilda making a friend with someone her own age. She sometimes felt that Matilda spent too much time within herself, fascinating company though she might be. A friend her own age was something she clearly needed.

"Jenny, this is Shauna, from soccer. Shauna, this is my greatest of friends, Jenny. I live here with her."

"Its lovely to meet you," Miss Honey said politely.

Shauna looked up at the manor Matilda called home, comparing it to the apartment in which she lived with her mother and younger brother.

"Yeah, its kind of big, isn't it?" Matilda nudged the still staring girl.

Jenny raised a cup from beside her. "I made punch, girls; you must be thirsty. Speaking of which, how was the game?"

"We lost, but not too badly. They scored once against us."

Shauna, remembering how she had accused Matilda, looked guiltily down at the floor while Matilda patted her arm reassuringly.

"That's too bad." She turned to the sporty looking girl Matilda had brought with her. "Shirley?"

"Shauna. Yuck, Shirley?" The girl made a face, obviously feeling slighted.

"Oh, I'm sorry. _Shauna, _what position do you play?" Shauna opened up slightly, as Jenny coaxed her into a conversation about soccer and sports in general.

"I'll be right back. I need to put my stuff down. And Shauna, would you like some Juice?"

Shauna glanced gratefully at Matilda as she left, and went on to tell Jenny her plans of becoming a professional soccer player.

They were playing poker. Matilda was the best at it and had amassed a large amount chips.

"I think I know your tell," Shauna said as she watched Matilda take in the pot once again. "You flip through your cards differently."

"I agree, Shauna. Matilda, that is your tell."

Matilda glared at them both. "I do not have a tell."

"No, every time it looks good, you flip through them right to left instead of left to right." Shauna explained. She winked subtly at Jenny, who returned the wink with a smile. Matilda did not see it as she was busy trying different ways to flip through her cards to see if she really did have such a tell.

"Yeah, and she taps her foot when its bad." Jenny elaborated.

Matilda looked down at her feet.

"Matilda, your turn. Deal them out. And remember; don't smile when you have an ace."

Matilda tried to freeze her face as she picked up her own cards.

"She's making an odd face, she must have something." Shauna commented.

"Nah, that doesn't mean anything. She just bent her left pinky. She has an Queen of Spades."

Matilda suddenly put down her cards and pointed accusingly at the both of them. "You're just trying to make me nervous, you guys don't know my tell at all."

Both of them burst out laughing.

"Matilda, you should have seen _your_ face. We got you good, admit it."

Matilda snorted at Shauna. "I will only admit that you got me _well_."

* * *

"Matilda? Does Shauna want to stay the night?"

Shauna looked at the clock. It was 8 o'clock, and they had been playing a game of scrabble.

When Matilda amazed them all with the words anodyne, galoot, and unctuous all in a row,

Shauna found truth in the rumor that Matilda was a genius. She was also lucky as hell.

"I think I can, I'll have to call my mom," She responded to Jenny's question.

As Shauna left the room, Jenny turned to Matilda and commented, "Shauna seems really nice, you should invite her over more often."

Matilda rolled her eyes. "Jenny, if you will believe me, before today, before a few hours ago, Shauna wanted to liquidate me."

Shauna came back into the room shaking her head. "I was just having a bad day. Then I was so curious about the rumors, I just had to ask. Jesus, Mattie, you scared the hell out of me."

"You called me stupid. I couldn't resist." Matilda stuck her tongue out at her new friend.

"What rumors are you talking about?" Jenny asked, looking between them both.

"You know, the usual ones," Matilda said flippantly.

Jenny frowned. She knew that the rumors of Matilda's strangeness were one of the reasons that Matilda had made so few friends her own age. In fact, Shauna was the first non-college student with whom she had seen Mattie, oh she meant Matilda (and wasn't Mattie a strangely appealing nickname; why hadn't she thought of it?) since she began taking college classes four years ago. At the time, Matilda had been so far above her peers in intellect and maturity that it had made sense. But Matilda had not skipped puberty even as she matured mentally. Now that she was going through hormonal changes, she would be able relate to people her own age better. In a way, Jenny was sad about this. It meant the cocoon that had surrounded them ever since she had met the remarkable child was about to open. At the same time, she could hardly wait to see the dazzling butterfly that Matilda would become.

Up in Matilda's room Shauna finally had to ask.

"Hey Mattie, can I borrow a tampon?

Matilda smiled gently. "Of course. Do you feel all right? Cramps?"

"Yeah, a little."

Matilda led her to the bathroom. "You can use the pads or tampons, whatever you like. Do you need an aspirin? Or I could make you up a hot water bottle. That always feels good to me."

"Yeah, could you? Both please."

Matilda went to the kitchen and turned on the water in the sink letting it warm up as it ran. She went to the cupboard and searched with her eyes for the Motrin. As was habitual with her, she focused her eyes on the bottle and tried to lift it telekinetically. She did this unconsciously, had done it ever since her childhood powers left. So she was entirely surprised when the bottle did a little shake.

"Oh my god."

Jenny appeared in the doorway. "What is it?" she asked.

"Jenny, I did it. I made the bottle move."

"Are you sure?"

Matilda turned an incredulous gaze at Jenny. "Do you think I hallucinated it? I felt my eyes warm up and everything. It was just like before."

"I believe you. It's just, unbelievable." Jenny breathed a breathy laugh. "We thought it was gone. It hasn't happened for so long."

"9 years," Matilda agreed.

"Can you do it again?"

Matilda 'looked' at the Motrin bottle again. Nothing happened. She tried once more, trying to find the 'muscle' from long ago that would allow her to lift things without touching them. She had no success. Finally, feeling a headache about to come unless she stopped straining herself, she gave up. She finished filling the water bottle and brought it to Shauna who took it gratefully.


	3. Proof of Power

Shauna thanked Matilda for the hot water bottle and curled around it on Matilda's bed.

Matilda went a closet and pulled out some comforters and pillows and arranged them on the floor. She sat down on them, looking up at Shauna.

"How are you now?"

"Much better. Thank you."

Matilda turned her head and stared at a penny lying on the carpet. She willed it to rise, to prove to herself that her powers had actually manifested, but as before nothing happened.

"What are you doing?" Shauna asked noticing the faces Matilda was making at the floor.

"I'm trying to make the penny rise."

"What? How?"

"With my mind. I used to be able to do it."

"The rumors?"

Matilda nodded, "They're mostly true. I never turned anybody into a newt though."

Shauna didn't say anything.

"Don't know whether to believe me or not, do you? Or, if they are true, you don't know whether you should run away screaming or not."

"That's not true." Shauna said firmly.

"Right."

"Matilda. It's not. Honestly I think your lying or mistaken. Maybe it's a defense for you. Having been called a witch all your life; you pretend that you actually are one. But just because people think you are strange doesn't mean I don't want to be friends with you."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me."

Shauna smiled, and then buried her head into her pillow. "Besides," she said shyly, "There are rumors about me too, you know."

Matilda cocked her head at her. "What rumors?"

Shauna rolled onto stomach and looked down at "I suppose you don't hear them, since you're a college girl already. They started last year in eighth grade when I rejected a couple of guys who wanted to date me."

"A couple?" Matilda looked sideways at Shauna.

"Hey! I've got boobs; of course they want to date me. And I'm considered kind of popular at school you know, simply on account of me being a jock.

"So, what happened when you wouldn't date them?"

"One of them, the immature prick, insinuated that the reason I wouldn't date him was because I was a big old bull dyke."

Matilda looked pointedly at her, "You certainly may be a jock, but you're no bull dyke."

Shauna laughed. "I thought so too. I mean, didn't it reflect badly on him that he had wanted to date a dyke?"

"So, how does your popularity fare now that people think your gay?" Matilda asked. She had a lot of questions more than that, such as _was she_? But she would skirt around it a bit for a while.

"Not badly actually. You'll notice nobody changes near my locker, but I don't mind that at all. I feel shy enough as it is without all these girls looking at me and judging me, you know?"

"Yeah." Matilda made a face. "I know what you mean. I'm always afraid that people are looking around thinking, she's a B, she's an A, and she's a D, the fatso.

"So...Shauna, are you?"

Matilda was drawing in a notebook, one of many that lay scattered about her room, and sketching Shauna who lay with eyes closed listening to some of Matilda's music on the computer.

"Am I what?" asked the girl asked, opening her eyes and peeking at Matilda. Shauna realized what she was asking before Matilda answered back. "I don't know. I've never," she cleared her

throat, "I've never found out. I won't know for sure until I find someone I like. And then, well, I won't really know for sure until I've kissed someone for the first time."

"So, you've thought about it?"

"Yeah." She stared at Matilda, scared suddenly of what the girl thought of her. "Do you mind?"

Matilda shook her head vehemently. "Of course not!" She looked meaningfully at the blushing girl.

"I would be such a hypocrite if I did."

Shauna looked intently at Matilda. "Do you know for sure?"

"No... I've only thought about it, once or twice. When I wake up from dreams. Do you dream?"

Shauna looked at her strangely for a second then blushed. "Oh, those dreams, you mean. Nah, but I daydream sometimes."

Matilda suddenly let out a surprised laugh. "You know? Its amazing, we've barely known each other as anything past acquaintances for a day, and yet I already feel like I can tell you anything."

Shauna nodded vigorously. "I know what you mean, absolutely. I have friends at school I've known since kindergarten yet they seem like mere acquaintances compared to you."

The two girls smiled at each other.

Matilda put down her notebook and climbed onto the bed beside Shauna. "Shauna." She said seriously.

"Yes, Mattie?"

"When you said you had to be kissed to know for sure, did the person kissing you have to know for sure as well?"

"Mattie?"

Matilda leaned down and pressed her lips against Shauna, who lay on her back beside her.

Shauna pushed herself up and met the kiss. At first neither of them did anything, not particularly knowing what to do. Then Shauna moved her lips against Mattie's and Mattie moved hers as well, both of them growing warm with embarrassment and something else as they kissed. Matilda felt the something filling her up, a pressure that needed release. She pulled away, suddenly having to look at anything but Shauna. Her eyes rested on the bookcase across her room, and something that could only be described as a kind of heat centered behind her eyes. With a groan, the bookcase trembled, the books jumping out of their places and landing on the floor. It finally fell forward and hit the ground with a crash.

"Are you all right?" in an instant, Jenny was at the door, looking at the ashen faces of the two girls who had clung to each other with the crash.

Matilda pulled away from Shauna, a crestfallen look on her face.

"I told you, I'm strange."

"You did that?" Shauna stared at the books that littered the ground, the wooden bookcase that blocked entry to the door. "You did!"

"Matilda, are you alright?" Jenny repeated, stepping gingerly over the fallen bookcase and between the books, coming to pull Matilda, who had broken into tears, into a hug.

"I just couldn't keep it in." Matilda sniffled, burrowing her head into Jenny's shoulder.

"It's alright, we know its not your fault." Jenny rubbed Matilda's back as her tears fell unchecked.

Finally, sniffing, Matilda pulled away from Jenny, conscious that she had left a wet spot on her shirt. Without hope Matilda turned to Shauna to await her reaction, sure it would be harsh.

"See, I'm a witch."

Still reeling, from the kiss and from the destruction afterwards, Shauna only knew that she could not snub Matilda.

"But you're my witch, right?"

Matilda only blinked, still awaiting her disgust.

"Right?"

Amazement dawned on Matilda's face as she rushed to pull the other girl into a tight hug. "You mean it?"

"If you do."

Of course!" Matilda turned hesitantly to face her guardian, Shauna's hand held tightly in hers.

"Jenny, I think she's my girlfriend.


	4. Passion and Power

Matilda dreamed that night, strange dreams that morphed inside her, the kind she would only remember scraps of when she awoke. An image:

* * *

Shauna swinging by herself on a swing that hung from a lone tree on a lonesome bluff. She looked out into the sea, a yearning on her face and singing:

"_My Bonnie lies over the ocean.  
My Bonnie lies over the sea.  
My Bonnie lies over the mountains.  
Won't my Bonnie come back to me?"_

Matilda was gamboling happily through a field, young as when she first convinced Miss Honey, the Only Kind Adult In The World, to adopt her into her family and they became

_sisters._

She held both of Miss Honey's hands and together they swung through the grass. The blurred foliage behind them was a green screen on which all she could see was Miss Honey laughing.

Jenny wasn't all that much of an adult at that was she? She was innocent.

At six, Matilda had the feeling she wasn't exactly innocent. Too many adult books swimming about her head and adult thoughts like revenge and responsibility crawling about in her mind like sea monsters. She used to become afraid of the things she knew about, like RAPE, DRUGS and PREJUDICE. She knew that little girls did not know these things. Miss Honey was like a buoy, innocent and airy with just the right amount of adult intuition to sooth the fears of a little girl.

They spun on the grass, looking into each others happy faces, knowing that they had finally found the one person in the world who understood them perfectly, for all that one was a pretty 21 year old teacher and the other was 6 year old girl with knowing eyes. They sang:

_All around the mulberry bush  
The monkey chased the weasel.  
The monkey thought 'twas all in fun.  
Pop! goes the weasel._

And Matilda wasn't so young anymore. She had learned that adults really are more rational than children, children who learned their prejudices from their parents and brought them unmercifully down on the genius girl, the witch girl, the girl who just last year had saved them from the worst Evil Step Mother in the world. But Matilda didn't care because she was too smart for their petty insults. And when she had cried at night, it was not because she was sad, it was because she was happy. She knew there was such a thing as happy tears because she had read about them in a book. But then why, why did they burn so much?

She was a very little girl crying silently in the dark, crying against the hate and the spite of everyday life. And then She came and enfolded her in warm arms and chased the monsters away with kisses to her head and face.

_Every night in my dreams  
I see you. I feel you.  
That is how I know you go on._

_Far across the distance  
And spaces between us  
You have come to show you go on._

Kissing her gently on the lips, parting them and probing into them with her tongue. Matilda felt herself becoming full of that inexplicable something, a heat that pressed behind her lids wanting out. The only image that remained on her mind was of Jenny, sitting on the porch and beckoning to her.

* * *

Shauna awoke on Sunday morning to a strange sight. 3 books, without string or tether, were revolving slowly above her head. She watched them for a while; convinced she was still asleep. The books whipped out of sight and landed with a thump somewhere on the other side of the room. Then two more appeared and Shauna entertained herself with reading their titles: Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea and In Search for Schrodinger's Cat, Quantum Physics and Reality. Schrodinger's Cat? It was too strange a tittle for a dream. She sat up and saw Matilda was busily putting away the books that lay scattered over the floor. She was humming the Titanic theme as she worked, sitting perfectly still on the floor and directing the books only with her eyes.

"Good morning," she said as Shauna sat up.

Shauna looked at the bookshelf, which they had lifted up and put into place last night before going to sleep, leaving the books scattered on the floor. The shelves were more than half way full now, and Shauna had an idea that Matilda hadn't touched one of them.

"I woke up with a lot of energy in me, and this seemed an efficient use of it," she said, not taking her eyes off the traveling books.

A feeling of amazement and exhilaration welled up in Shauna. Seeing the books happily floating back to their homes meant that miracles were possible. Last night had been traumatic, but a certain amount of skepticism had remained in her. The falling bookcase could have been the result of a very local earthquake. Floating books surpassed completely the realm of the possible and trespassed into the realm of the supernatural. The experience was both mind numbing and freeing at the same time.

"Do you know why you can do this?" she asked.

"When I was younger, we postulated that it was because I was so smart. I couldn't express my intelligence around my parents, who were absolute bigots, so it expressed itself through my eyes. But its different now. Then I could control when and how it came out . Now, if it wants to come out, it does, whether I want it to or not, i.e. last night."

* * *

By breakfast, Matilda's powers had subsided. Matilda, Shauna and Jenny discussed its reappearance as they ate French toast and eggs.

"I don't think it's come out for the same reason as before." Matilda told Jenny. "I was so frustrated then. I was literally becoming bored to death. That certainly is not the case now."

Reflecting on Matilda's demanding schedule in school, Jenny had to agree."

"Is there something different that you do now, that you didn't do before?" Shauna asked.

Matilda sucked on a straw leading into tall cup of orange juice, thinking hard. "I don't know. I cannot think of anything, well, except for you." She reached out her foot and had it slide up Shauna's leg. Shauna blushed, stuffing her face with food.

"And even so, it happened before that. Yesterday morning I thought my toothbrush had just fallen to the ground by coincidence, but now I am not so sure."

"You didn't tell me that." Jenny said, surprised.

"I was preoccupied."

"Hmm, I remember. You wanted to know why I wasn't dating anyone. Hey! I thought you said you weren't interested in anyone yourself."

"Well," said Matilda, primly, "I didn't know I was."

Matilda had a thought. Remembering back to yesterday she recalled what exactly had prompted her to ask those questions of Jenny. Specifically she remembered some dreams. Then she recalled that this morning she had also awakened from a somewhat intimate dream.

"Shauna, can I try something?" Before Shauna had a chance to respond, Matilda had leaned over the table and kissed her softly on the mouth. Stunned, Shauna reacted instinctively by leaning into and deepening the kiss. Matilda suddenly jerked away from Shauna, focusing her eyes hurriedly on an object and letting the power flow out of her. The object, which happened to be her own plate of pancakes, flew toward the wall and slapped against it. One of the pancake stuck for a couple seconds then slipped to the floor, leaving patch of glistening syrup in its place.

"I think I know what initiates the power," Matilda said, blushing brightly from the kiss that had been more intense than she had expected.

Shauna grinned, not able to keep the quip from escaping her mouth, "I see what they mean by explosive passion now."

Jenny let out a startled gasp of laughter which soon sent them all into a round of giggles and general silliness.


	5. Dangerous Power

**A/N:** I just went back and edited this chapter in a minor way because a reviewer noticed that it contradicted what I wrote in chapter 9. I removed all mention to Jenny having any sort of sexual experience, not matter how little. This is what happens when you start working on a fic four years after you quit wrting in it.

Her soft lip pressed Matilda's lips, opened up and let the bottom one in. She nibbled lightly on it, then stuck her tongue coyly into Matilda's mouth, a swift teasing twirl and then it was gone. Her hands roamed under Matilda's shirt, but stayed chastely to her back and belly. Even so, she felt intensely the trails of fire they left. Every thing Shauna did evoked fire. Finally, feeling something blaze too highly within, Matilda had to tear herself violently away.

A boulder behind Shauna's shoulder shuddered and rolled a couple feet.

Matilda turned and looked at Shauna who was breathing heavily, her face bright red, her hair displaced where Matilda had run though it with her hands.

"Sorry." Matilda muttered.

"This is so frustrating!" Shauna growled.

"I can't help it."

"Why do you have to pull away? Its shocks my system." she complained.

"I can't help it. I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

"I know but…Oh, well. Lets go."

The mood was definitely broken. But the day was still pretty and the two girls were enjoying their romp through the forest.

"I wonder if anyone will notice the new placement of the rock." Shauna said, poking Matilda on the side.

"If they notice it at all, and people have an amazing ability not to notice things, they will put it to natural forces."

"It was a natural force. It was the natural force of your arousal."

"Eh."

"Well, its true isn't it? The more aroused you feel, the bigger the explosion."

"Don't put it like that, it sounds wrong."

"What? I'm just saying that the more excited you get, the bigger the fireworks."

Matilda made a face. It sounded like Shauna was talking about sex. Matilda did not really want to think about sex. Especially since she was wondering if she would ever be able to have sex. In the far, far, future, she meant. She didn't want to have sex right now, but later, when she was older. But she did want to be able to kiss her girlfriend.

"I wonder what would happen if we didn't stop." Shauna chattered on. "Would… Hmm."

Matilda had kissed her again. She kissed her firmly and insistently, like she had something to prove, which she did. The kiss went on much longer than any of the others they had shared so far. But in the end, Matilda could not help but push Shauna away from her. Her eyes alighted on the same boulder as before and it began to move. Unfortunately, the boulder was now slightly above them on a slope. The first shake had uprooted it and the second started it rolling down the mountain. As it moved it gained momentum, soon hurtling straight at the two girls.

Shauna grabbed Matilda and pulled her of path of the large rock, landing beside her on the grassy hill.

They both stood up slowly, watching as the boulder bounced thunderously down the hill, to land finally in the creek below.

"Uh, Shauna?" Matilda turned to her girlfriend. "I think we should avoid doing that, for awhile. At least until I get this under control."

"Damn."

"Yeah."

They hurried back to the town, the mood now spoiled entirely, both of them quiet and thinking their own thoughts. Near the school, they split up, Shauna going to her mother's apartment for Sunday supper. Matilda gave Shauna a hesitant hug before they separated.

* * *

"So how was your walk?" Jenny said, a glint in her eyes. "Interesting?"

Matilda blushed, but returned to her glum state. "It was ok."

Concerned, Jenny touched Matilda's back before she could disappear to her room. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, I uh, I've got homework to do."

"Okay, I'm here for you, if you want to talk, you know."

"Uh huh."

Jenny watched Matilda hike slowly up the stairs to her room. Matilda was growing up, it seemed, which was odd, because Jenny had never really thought of her as a child, her sophisticated banter and mature opinions obscuring the fact that she was a teenager until now.

She remembered back to when Matilda was twelve. Traditional home schooling advice pamphlets had recommended that it was time to give her some basic Sex. Ed. To Jenny's surprise, Matilda had interrupted her first stuttered sentence and candidly related to Jenny the contents of the book she was using for reference.

"I did read the whole library, you know, adult section included. "

But for relationship help, which Matilda clearly might need, Jenny had very little to give her. Jenny had been dominated by her aunt for too long to have had any relationships in highschool, and then she had met Matilda and raising Matilda had become her life. Nine years, that was a long time. She tried to imagine her life without Matilda and couldn't. Without Matilda she would still be living alone in a small hut with no furniture. Eventually Matilda would be 18 or 20 and she would marry, or get into a committed relationship of some kind and certainly leave. The thought hurt her heart. She knew it was only a precursor to how she would feel when Matilda finally left.

* * *

In the night, Jenny awoke to find the whole house shaking. Pictures fell off the walls; bookcases all over the house spilled their contents. She just hoped that it would not fracture the foundation. When it was over she found a traumatized Matilda standing in her underwear beneath a door frame with her eyes tightly shut.

"I'm sorry!" she cried, burrowing her head into Jenny's shoulder as soon Jenny reached her.

Jenny patted her back, trying to soothe the hysterical girl.

"I didn't mean to, it's all my fault. I just wanted to know what it felt like, you know?"

"I know," Jenny murmured.

"I can't even kiss Shauna without almost killing her!"

"It's ok, I'm sure she doesn't mind."

"But she does, I know she does!"

"Mattie!"

Matilda looked up. Jenny reached down and touched Matilda's tear streaked face. She crouched besides her, petting her hair.

"Matilda, you and Shauna only got together a few days ago. I'm sure she would not mind you slowing down a bit. In fact, she might welcome it. Lay off on the physical stuff for a while and strengthen your friendship."

Jennifer heard the wise words coming issuing her mouth, but didn't know where they came from. It seemed that when the need was great, the words came anyway.

Matilda nodded her head solemnly and wiped her eyes. She saw that she had yet again left a wet patch on Jenny's shirt, which she touched, feeling wetness of her tears. It seemed like she was doing that a lot recently.

"I'm sorry about your shirt."

Jenny looked down at her shirt. She smiled and wiped another tear off of Matilda's chin.

"Don't worry about it. It's only salt water."

The both stood up, turning to look at the disorder around them.

"I am not enjoying this." Matilda said, crossing her arms and frowning petulantly. "Last time was much more fun. The difference between having power and being able to control it and having a power and not being able to control it is the difference between a good dream and a terrible nightmare."

Jenny wrapped Matilda in a hug. Matilda knew that it was supposed to be comforting, but for Matilda it only brought back the sensations of numerous dreams. She shivered. Yeah, it was all about control.

"Are you cold?" Jenny asked.

"No, sleepy." Matilda hoped that Jenny would not turn around and see the books she was holding aloft behind her. It siphoned away the warm feeling in her chest, but now that Jenny knew what caused the lifting force, it was like a bright sign illuminating her feelings.

"Then, goodnight Mattie."

"Good night Jenny."


	6. A Vacation From It All

Matilda and Shauna agreed to put their relationship on the back burn for a while. School had ended for them both for the summer, with Matilda only a few units short of graduating, and Shauna about to enter the 11th grade. Both of them looked forward to a summer together. If before they had been close, now they were joined at the hip. For being supposed girlfriends, though, they were remarkably reserved around each other. After the incident with the boulder they avoided even touching.

Matilda took to taking sleep pills before bed, which knocked her soundly to sleep the whole night through, but the sleep was unfulfilled at best and restless at worst. She had trouble waking up in the morning as a result and the ensuing coffee addiction had her snippy in the morning until she got her fix.

Jenny yanked the drapes open, sending a shocking blaze of light into Matilda's room.

"Uhhnnng." Matilda tried half heartedly to block the sun with her arm. When that didn't work, she rolled over and burrowed into her blankets.

"Mattie. Mattie. It's nine." Jenny said as compassionately as possible, rubbing Matilda's back to bring her awake

"Juss… nah yet. Wait…wait till ten. Yeah."

"Oh Matilda. That is something I just won't do"

Jenny was through with being Miss Nice Girl. She grabbed Matilda's blankets firmly with both hands and ripped them away from her body. Matilda squealed and curled into an embryo shape. She slept in her underclothes and did not appreciate them being seen so liberally.

Jenny blinked to see her ward curled up and cursing. She was so adorably grumpy in the morning. Matilda growled and sat up, grabbing a sheet out the bundle Jenny held and wrapping it chastely about herself before shooting an annoyed look at the smirking blond women who stood above her.

"What has you so cheerful this morning? And, more important, what does it have to do with me?"

"Lets go out."

"Where? What do you mean?"

"I don't know…. Out!" Jenny waved her hands expansively.

Matilda gaped to see her friend in such a mood.

"I'd love to, but why?"

"Do we need a reason?"

Matilda thought it through. It was a bright summers day in June. School had been out for a week. That meant that Jenny was on vacation as well. It made sense that she would be getting restless, because she had been hanging around the house all day for the last week, getting some last peaces of business together before looking forward to a two month vacation.

"No. I don't suppose we need a reason. But where do you want to go?"

* * *

It figured that when Jenny said "let's go" in such away she did not mean for a day, she meant for a week, and when she said she wanted to go "out" she did not mean out _to_ the country, she meant out _of_ the country.

She meant Disney Land, Los Angeles, in the US of A.

"So you're going away for a whole week?" Shauna's voice had a small whine in it.

"Yeah. I think Jenny wants to spend some time with me. We have been really busy for the last couple of months."

"Plus, from what you've said, she's never had to share you with anyone before, but now I take up half your time."

Matilda twirled the phone cord with her finger. Shauna would sometimes say things like that, insinuating that Jenny was jealous of the time Matilda spent with her. Matilda did not see it. Shauna would point out that whenever Matilda and she was in the house, Jenny would make a point to join whatever they were doing, even when it was something as teen-ish as watching MTV.

"She's not jealous, Shauna."

"Who's not jealous of what?" Jenny asked, coming into the living room. She saw Matilda sitting curled on a comfy overstuffed chair, hunched over as if she were curled in the embrace of a person, rather than the rests of an armchair, and talking into the telephone.

"Oh," Matilda looked up at Jenny and said in a casual voice, "Nobody is jealous. Shauna is only being excessively paranoid."

"I am not!"

"You are too! You're a paranoid girlfriend geek."

"Yeah but I'm your paranoid girlfriend geek."

"Yep."

"Yep."

"Yeppers."

"Yepsidoidal."

"Yepoodlediddle."

"Yeps times infinity. That beats all your yeppers combined."

Jenny felt herself going cross-eyed.

"You guys are both dorks," she accused Matilda and Shauna, who she knew could hear her through the line.

"BUT I'M NOT YOUR DORK!" Shauna shouted.

"THAT'S OK. I'M NOT YOURS EITHER!" Jenny shouted right back.

"Please don't yell in my ear." Matilda pleaded to both females.

"GOOD BYE, SHAUNA!"

"GOOD BYE, MISS HONEY!"

Matilda cowered. Jenny left the room, bringing with her the suitcase she had retrieved from a nearby closet. When Jenny had left, Matilda continued the argument.

"She is not jealous."

"All right! Maybe she is not. I'm just saying it makes sense that she would be. You guys had no one else. You saved her from a life misery. She loves you."

From her voice, she clearly knew that it was Shauna who was the jealous one. She bit her lip. Shauna was almost right, but actually all wrong. Jenny did not love her, not that way. But she, Matilda, was absolutely in love with Jenny. Asmuchas she might have saved Jenny from a live of subordination, Jenny had returned to Matilda her faith in humanity. Without Jenny's influence, she could see that she would have become a bitter child, and then a bitter reclusive adult. Instead, she had met and eventually fallen in love with one of the most caring individuals in the world. She felt an intense guilt over that. She was with Shauna; for all that she and Shauna couldn't be together right then. In fact, she often felt closer to Shauna when they talked over the phone than when they were talking face to face, especially because of the enforced restraint they upheld around each other.

"Matilda, are you packed yet?" Jenny called from the hallway.

"Almost! Shauna, I've got to go." Matilda reluctantly began to end the conversation, although she could tell that the subject would doubtlessly come up again later.

"I love you." Shauna said forcefully, suddenly.

Matilda felt a lump in her throat and could barely get through it enough to reply.

"I...I'll miss you. See you in a week."

For most of the time they were to be in Disneyland, Shauna would be busy at a family reunion.

Neither of them would have the other's number. But Matilda had resolved to call Shauna the first thing on Friday morning, when Shauna was due to return to her apartment. Then, Matilda and Jenny would fly back on Sunday.

As she packed her bags, the guilt she carried began to dissipate and she looked forward to a week in Disneyland alone with her guardian.


	7. The Cheshire's Grin

_A/N: Holy Cow, you guys. Holy Moose. I've finally started writing in this thing after 4 years. I've got two chapters for you, one right on top of the other, and are they ever woppers. ... I suppose you could say that I got tired of the status quo and decided to mix things up a bit. Also, I highly suggest you reread the entire fanfic, both to familiarize yourself, and because as of 12/04/2008 I have done an edited of the whole thing. My writing style has changed, hopefully for the better. Best news yet, I think it's possible that I might actually even complete this thing, and I never do that._

Disneyland.

As soon as they arrived and got through gates into the park proper Matilda demanded they visit the tea-cups first. She'd heard of them, and ever since had thought it would be magical to ride them. She had first had this thought when she was about 7, but that didn't make it any less true.

The line, predictably, was taking a long time, but Jenny surprised her by walking away from the line and returning with a single chocolate dipped ice-cream cone.

"What about yourself?" Matilda queried, after taking her first enthusiastic lick around the base to get the drips that were already starting to form.

"Oh, I'll just have some of yours." And without so much as a "by your leave," Jenny bent down and took a bite out of the ice cream, breaking through the cold-hardened chocolate into the creamy vanilla center. She'd probably intended it to be funny, but it left Matilda with the familiar fluttery feeling that she knew could lead to disaster. Unnoticed by any, a pile of leaves behind Jenny swirled faintly. It could have been the wind.

Seeing Matilda look at her strangely, Jenny mock scowled.

"What? Do I have some left on my face."

So saying, she reached up and caught a bit of chocolate that still adorned her lip with her thumb, then stuck it in her mouth and licked it off.

This was the sort of utterly unselfconscious thing that Miss Honey was prone to doing, and she probably had no idea what it would do to any able bodied teenager, much less the one beside her who had a long standing and secret crush on her. Behind Miss Honey the leaves were moving more insistently now going in the opposite direction of the wind entirely. Matilda took a bite of the ice cream herself, to hide her blush. _Did I actually think going to Disney Land with Jenny was a good idea? I'm a danger to everyone here. _Dread stirred the butterflies in her stomach once more, but it was an emotion that luckily dampened the energy within her rather than increasing it.  
_  
Take a deep breath, you can do this_, Matilda coached herself. Soon enough they had arrived at the front of the line. This was the kid's section of the park, and most of the people in line were younger children and their parents. But there was a boy and a girl directly ahead who were both roughly Mathilda's Age. With such long lines today, the policy was to fill the rides completely, so strangers were getting a fast introduction to each other. The boy and the girl stepped into the cup first and sat down together at a bench. Matilda and Jenny found seats on the bench at the opposite side.

The Tea-cup ride in Disney Land is centered in an Alice in Wonderland themed area. The ride is exactly what it sounds like: a series of independent giant sized tea-cups, each of which has what looks like a steering wheel sticking up right out of the middle, it's face toward the sky.

As soon as they have all sat down, the boy reached across to shake Jenny's hand.

"Tom,"

The girl reached across at the same time to shake Matilda's hand.

"Jerry."

They both were smiling. Then they they cross hands in identical practiced motions and shook the hand of the one they had missed. Matilda and Jenny took this in with bemused expressions and then introduced themselves likewise.

"Really, Tom and Jerry?" Jenny asked, her face the picture of suspicion.

"Yep, really." Jerry answered, still grinning.

"Are you... together?"

"Nope, best friends," said Tom as he put his arm around Jerry's shoulder's and squeezed. "We've known each other since first grade. What about you? Sister's?" He hazarded a guess. Since Miss Honey was 15 years older than Matilda, this was a stretch, but not impossible at all. Besides, Miss Honey looked more youthful due to the miracle de-aging power of being completely happy.

"Nope," Matilda said with a grin. "Best friends." She shot a conspirational look towards Miss Honey. "We've known each other since First Grade too."

Now it was Tom and Jerry's turn to sport bemused looks.

Rolling her eyes, Jenny extrapolated, "I was her First Grade Teacher."

"And I was her best student, so she had to adopt me." Matilda said, her voice taking on an overly enthusiastic tone that best could be described as that of a teacher's pet.

Before anymore conversation could be had, the chair began to slowly spin.

Jerry, and then Tom took hold of the wheel in the middle, then looked up at Matilda and Jenny. "Do either of you get motion sick?

At the woman's negative head shake, and the girl's "no" Tom and Jerry began to turn the wheel. It's counter clockwise motion instantly translated into a faster clockwise motion for the cup. Matilda, getting into the spirit of things, started to lend her hands and strength toward turning the wheel. And finally Jenny contributed as well. Soon they were all laughing hysterically, their hands flying on the wheel as they spun faster and faster. One unintended consequence of this is that Matilda started to slide on the plastic bench toward Jenny. Soon the whole side of her body from shoulder to shins was pressed against her once-teacher. They were both wearing T-shirts and shorts, in deference to the hot weather, so this included a lot of skin contact.

The predictable happened. Without really realizing it, Matilda sent her energy into the steering wheel. The chair began to spin with ever increasing speed, so much speed that Matilda felt she might actually get sick. The others were looking white as well, and they all released the the steering wheel at about the same time. Abruptly Matilda realized what she was doing, and with the realization came an image of the cup careening off its saucer shaped base and spilling its passengers in a mess of broken bones and screaming. The image was fleeting, but it was explicit and violent, and it served to put an end to all feelings of pleasure. Her mind lost its grip on wheel, and friction slowly brought the cup to its standard speed, which was restful enough. Everyone leaned back and breathed a sigh of relief, Matilda most of all. When the ride finally came to a halt, Tom looking impressed, insisted on shaking both their hand's again.

"I have never, ever got the teacups going that fast in my life with any other people. You two must be very strong."

The teen's departed.

Looking green, Matilda pointed at a shaded picnic table.

"Too much ice cream," she moaned. She'd stuffed down the rest of the cone before the ride began which wasn't necessary the best thing she could have done.

Putting a worried hand on her back, Jenny led Matilda to the picnic table and sat down across from her.

"Are you ok?" she asked, her voice sounding troubled.

"I'm fine, I just need a chance to breathe," Matilda said, her voice sounding far away. She put her head down on the cool table and stared at the freckles on her arm.

Jenny opened her mouth, her jaw working as if she had something she wanted to ask, but then thought better of it, then wanted to ask again.

Matilda's other hand, hidden under the table, made a fist, then tightened. _Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask. _

Jenny didn't ask.

After that, Matilda made sure that they didn't go on any rides that would force her and Miss Honey into close quarters. At first she had to force it, but by evening she was having nearly as much fun as she had started the day with. Jenny enjoyed herself too. But Matilda noticed that occasionally Jenny would look at her oddly, a thoughtful expression on her face that Matilda could not read.

Too tired after their long day, including the international flight that had dropped them off at the LAX at 6am, they decided to neglect any shows that might be happening that night and rode the Monorail to the Disney Land Motel. They ordered Chinese straight to their rooms, but before it had arrived Matilda was already asleep. Jenny ate her stir-fry alone, contemplating the sleeping girl.

There was an idea forming in her head that slightly disturbed Jenny. It explained a lot of things that she'd had no explanation for before. If it was true, she knew what it spelled. Mrs. T Mrs. R Mrs. O Mrs. B Mrs. L Mrs. E and that spells trouble.


	8. The Truth Comes Out

The next day turned out fantastic, as if to belie Ms. Honey's fears. The lines were shorter, and so they were able to do more rides, and they spent the day racing around the park, running from ride to ride to ride. At the end of the day, they took the Monorail back to the Hotel, this time to change into fresh clothes and return for dinner at the Blue Bayou Restaurant, an expensive New Orleans themed restaurant featuring Cajun Style fine dining and live Blues.

They rode the hotel elevator up to the 8th floor, and then raced each to their room at 829.

"First one there gets the first shower," Matilda shouted, having a marginal lead. But Jenni, with her long legs, touched the door seconds before she did. They both fell against it laughing and catching their breath, then Jenni fished her room keycard out of her purse, swiped it and let them both in. Matilda threw herself onto her bed (the one nearest to the balcony.) Jenni dropped her purse on her bed, and went to the closet where she had placed a blue dress that was nicer than usual. The top was white, and it had no sleeves. It had a blue belt around the middle, and fell to just about her knees in pleats, the bottom which edge was tinged a light blue. The effect was rather like a blue morning glory. It was rather like Ms. Honey herself, feminine without being sultry. It had - against all odds - managed the trip without getting wrinkled, to her relief.

Matilda, finally having caught her breath, sat up.

"I think I'll go get a can of soda."

"Kay, don't spoil your appetite," Jenni said, without looking.

"Yes, mother," was Matilda's deadpan reply as she passed Jenny and exited the door. Jenny stepped into the bathroom and closed the door.

As she pulled off her clothes, she considered the problem of Matilda. The girl had shown no signs of errant telekinetic energy all day. She had been as free and easy as she had used to be, back before that same telekinetic energy had begun to show itself. In fact, Ms. Honey couldn't even say for certain that Matilda had caused the cup ride to spin so fast. And if she had, there was no reason for that to mean that Matilda had a secret crush on her. For goodness sake, she was 15 years older than the girl. Besides, Matilda had been sitting right across from Jerry, who had been rather pretty herself, with curly black hair, and a nose that could be best described as a button-like. Cute, if you liked that sort of thing. By the time Ms. Honey was testing the shower water's temperature with her hand, she had nearly completely convinced herself that it was foolish to think Matilda was nursing feelings for her. Before she stepped fully into the shower, she noticed that she had forgotten her shampoo and conditioner in her bag. Knowing the trip down the hall to the Soda Machine was a rather long one, she stepped out the door without even wrapping a towel around herself.

Her self delusion might have continued longer had Matilda not forgotten something as well. She had forgotten her wallet, which was in her jacket, which she had shed at the foot of her bed. Not 40 seconds after leaving, she slipped back into the Hotel room to retrieve it. She had just pulled it out of the jacket pocket and turned to leave when Jenny stepped out of the bathroom, breathtakingly naked.

"Oh," Matilda gasped, the strangled sound leaving her mouth quite against her will. A T.V. remote, lying on the counter next to the television, rose up and slammed against the wall so hard it exploded into plastic pieces and batteries, leaving a small dent. There was a complete stunned silence in the room, as neither of them moved. Then Jenny took a small step forward, less than a step, a motion. It was enough to galvanize Matilda into action. Screwing her eyes shut, she ran past Jenny and fumbled the door open, slamming it behind her.

And leaving Jenny alone in their room. She stood still for a second, scarcely even breathing. Then, making up her mind, she hurriedly dressed in the clothes she had just divested herself of. At the last minute, she saw Matilda's jacket and picked it up as well. By the time she left the room, the hallway was empty. It took her about 10 minutes to find Matilda. She was hiding in the rather whimsical gardens that surrounded the three towers of the Disneyland Hotel, sitting on the edge of a foot bridge, looking down at the coy who inhabited the pond below. As Jenny drew closer, she saw that she was skipping a rock across the water in impossible zig zag patterens. The coy seemed to think it was food, and kept chasing it, trying to eat it. It would have been cute, had Matilda not been crying. They were silent sobs, only noticeable by the tears that steamed down her face and the heaving of her shoulders.

As Jenny stepped onto the bridge and Matilda heard the sound of her footsteps, the stone dropped beneath the water. A large coy bit it eagerly, then spit it out.

"Oh, it's you," she said dully.

Jenny bent down and wrapped Matilda's coat around her shoulders, then sat down beside. Matilda didn't put it on, but pulled it closed in front of her, her arms within.

"So, I guess you know now," she mumbled in a voice completely at odds with her usually precise diction.

"Know what? That a healthy teenage girl reacts in a natural way when suddenly seeing someone nude?" It was an out, if a weak one.

Matilda smiled, a bit wryly. "If exploding things is a natural reaction." But she bravely refused to take the out given her. "No, you know that's not what it was. I like you. I love you. I love you so much I think it's making me crazy." It was the sort of thing a person usually said while looking passionatly into their amore's eyes. But Matilda only hunched over into her jacket some more. "I must be sick. Your practically my mother," she spat the last word out as if it was something disgusting she had eaten on accident.

"That's not true," Jenny said gently. "That's not the sort of relationship we have had at all. Oh, perhaps in the eyes of the law, but not to me. You are my friend." She said the last word with an intensity that surprised her. "I've never limited you in any way. I've barely even guided you. You're too... you've always been too self sufficient for that. You were grown up before I even met you. In a way, you are my mentor. You've taught me that happiness is not making the best of a bad thing. It's demanding what you need from the world, and if the world won't give it to you, its changing the rules and leaving that world behind. Maybe I should have tried to mother you a bit more, maybe I was wrong to insist that things be equal between us. But I didn't do that, and you know what Matilda?"

Matilda couldn't help but finally look at Jenny; the challenge in her voice was so insistent.

"I'm not sorry at all."

Hearing a statement like that, looking into Jenny's eyes that flashed with such intensity, Matilda couldn't help it. She moved across the distance between their two heads and pressed a kiss onto Jenny's mouth. Jenny froze for an instant, then pulled gently away, her hand firmly pressing Matilda back.

"Fuck!" Matilda bellowed, stung and frustrated. She whipped her head around, and focusing on one of the large bread-loaf sized rock that marked the boundary of the pond , dislodging it so that is splashed into the pond, scattering coy in all she dislodged another one, and another. Scared by all the noise she was making in a public area, Jenny grabbed her shoulder and hissed urgently, "Calm down, Matti, it will be all right!"

Matilda shrugged her away and stood up, continuing to toss rocks into the pond with her eyes. "Not if you keep touching me it won't. Go away, I'll work this out on my own."

Now it was Jenny's turn to be affronted. "Don't let anyone hear you, or see you. We don't need THAT right now on top of everything else."

"Don't worry, I won't let anyone know what a freak I am," Matilda bit out, but already the rocks she was tossing into the pond were smaller.

Jenny forced herself to walk away, and when she stepped off the bridge she looked back and saw that Matilda had returned to skipping a single flat rock, like a water strider, across the stilling pond.


	9. Releasing Pressure

Jenny sat at the headboard of her bed trying to concentrate on reading. She had taken that shower; the one she had forgot about in all the excitement and left the water running the entire time. Impressively, it was still hot- the hotel must have massive water heaters- but she felt bad about the waste of water. Instead of getting into the dress when she came out (opening the door a little at a time, towel firmly wrapped around her body), she'd put on some non-aggressive pajamas. She'd covered up as much skin as possible, not because she was uncomfortable around Matilda, but because she wanted to girl to be comfortable around her. Also, she thought the management would take it amiss if the TV went sailing off the balcony. It was a poor attempt at a joke. Jenny put the book down, and drawing her legs up to her chest and putting her arms around them, thought about the problem of Matilda.

She loved the girl. She really did. She'd known when she had first met the girl, 9 years ago, that they were kindred souls. When Matilda had kissed her, well, there had been a very small part of her that wanted to kiss her back. _Don't go there, Missy, that way lies madness._ Now she was quoting Shakespeare.

It was curiosity, perhaps. In all these years, she had never ever kissed anyone. 30 years old and never been kissed until now, by her 15 year old adoptive daughter. Before Matilda, she'd been too cowed by her Aunt to do more than survive. And afterward...afterward she was still a First Grade Teacher. She was kind and gentle, solid. A buoy of safety in the storm of childhood. She was not sexy. She was not sexual.

She drew her finger along her lip. It seemed fuller than it had before. She remembered the look in Matilda's eyes before she kissed her, then remembered further back to when Matilda had been stunned to see her naked. _Matilda thinks I'm sexy._ She remembered that choked sound that had come from her throat; half moan, half cry. She shivered, and it wasn't from the cold.

This was ridiculous. This was wrong on so many levels. This could not go on. _When we get home, I will go on a date_. Should she go out with a man or a woman? she wondered. She would try them both. Regardless, although she was discovering herself finally as a sexual being about 15 years later than she should have, she still didn't have any idea about what to do about Matilda. Her subconsciousness had some ideas, but she pushed them down firmly.

Just then, there was a quiet knock at the door. She went and opened it up. It was Matilda.

"Didn't you have your key?" she asked as she let her in.

"Yes, but I didn't want to surprise you."

_Surprise me doing what?_ she wondered.

Matilda went and sat on her bed, bracing her feet firmly on the ground. Her hands clutched at her knees. Clearly she wanted to say something.

Jenny went and sat on her own bed, facing Matilda in a similar position. Instead of clutching her knees, she grabbed a pillow and put it on her lap. Hugging it was something to distract her hands with.

"Jenny, I'm sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me-"

"Oh Matti, you can hardly be expected to-"

"Please, let me talk. This is hard enough to say as it is."

Reading the pleading look in Matilda's eyes, Jennifer settled back down and said, "Ok."

"I'm sorry for letting my emotions get the better of me down on the bridge, is what I meant. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I definitely shouldn't have kissed you, but I wanted to, even though I knew I shouldn't." She shook her head and put and hand over her eyes.  
"I shouldn't have said that last bit, it doesn't help at all." she muttered. Then she looked back up at Miss Honey.

"What I mean to say is that I really don't want you to feel weird around me. I can actually control myself. I'm not a walking danger to the world. At least not so much now."

Jenny leaned forward. This was new. "Oh? How?"

"I figured it out yesterday actually. When I start to feel," she blushed, "the power building up inside, I just concentrate on a picture of something really horrible happening because my power got away from me. That calms me down right quick." And she smiled, a small ironic smile, but a smile none the less. It was the first time she had since she entered the room.

"Matilda! That's awful!"

"But it works."

"It's still awful," Jenny said firmly. "At this stage in life, you should be happy. You should be glorying in being alive, not afraid at your own feelings. I just wish I knew some way to help you."

She saw Matilda's face flush red in the moment before the girl threw herself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She firmly did not wonder what image had put that look on the girls face, then wondered what image she had used banish it. Now she felt bad. _I've got to be careful what I say. _She too lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling.

In a small voice that Jenny had never heard from her before, Matilda said, "Jenny, do you still want to go out to dinner. I mean, if it isn't too late."

Jennifer brought her watch up to her face and looked at. "No, it's not too late yet. If we hurry."

"Let's go," Matilda said.

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I don't want to hang around in here all night, and I don't want to go to sleep yet. Besides, we have reservations."

"So how about we do it like this. You take a shower and change in the bathroom, and I'll change out here, and I'll let you know it's safe to come out. That way we can avoid awkward situations."

The very fact that Jennifer had to say all that in the first place meant that things were already hopelessly awkward between them. But Matilda didn't verbalize what they both knew to be true, and simply started going through her bags to find what to wear. Soon she had them. A black pair of jeans that fit snugly, and a V necked long sleeve shirt in midnight blue. With a decent pair of earrings, it would pass for light formal. Besides, this was Disneyland. Although the Blue Bayou Restaurant was supposed to be Disney land's version of Fine Dining, there would doubtlessly be plenty of tourists in Hawaiian shirts and sandals.

Halfway through her shower, Jennifer knocked lightly on her door to signal that she was decent. Matilda came out of the bathroom, steam from her shower fogging the mirror that Jenny was using to put on her makeup. But as soon as she saw Jenny she quickly stepped back inside, closed the door and counted to thirty. Then she stepped back out again. Even so, when Jenny went to look for her lipstick, it was floating beside her face. She turned to look at Matilda, a quizzical frown on her face.

Matilda shrugged her shoulders and gave a small grin. "What can I say? You look good."

Jenny plucked the lipstick from the air, pursing her lips primly before she began to apply it. But inwardly, she was smiling. It was nice to see Matilda in good humor again. Dour self defeat was an expression that was never meant to touch Matilda's face, though it had resided there much to often in the recent months.

Over her dress Jenny wore a jean jacket for warmth and to cover her shoulders. Matilda wore her own black jacket. Even with the crystal studs in her ears, she looked faintly dangerous in all dark colors. This impression was helped by the fact that she felt unusually dangerous as well.

While taking her shower, Matilda had come to the conclusion that she was glad that Jenny had found out about her feelings. Most importantly it meant that she didn't have to hide her small bursts of telekinetic power. It was something she had learned from dating Shauna. Letting her power out to play took the edge off, so to speak and prevented it from getting away from her in frightening ways. Besides, when she didn't have to hide it, she enjoyed her powers as much now as she had when she was a kid. Sometimes at night, back at their home, she had purposefully stirred her power by touching herself lightly, not enough to get out of hand but enough so that she had a constant stream of power to play with, moving objects around the room in twisted eternity loops. Once she had even managed to get a whole solar system's worth of books into the air, each one moving at the correct speed compared to the others. She'd had probably forever married science and sex in her mind with that little trick. But she'd never tried to bring herself to orgasm again after that one disastrous attempt had nearly dropped the house on her and Jennifer both.

She firmly shook those thoughts from her head. For lack of anything better, she grabbed Jenny's purse with her mind and levitated it, so that the strap over her shoulder slackened. Jenny, feeling the small weight disappear, looked at Matilda and said, "I guess I shouldn't complain if you want to carry my bags for me." It made Matilda feel all warm and gooey inside, in a way that didn't affect her power at all. She felt happy.

**A/N:** You do not know how long I wavered about posting this chapter. I mean, virgin at 30 and never been kissed? Its sort of a stretch. But I can't help but think it makes sense for her character. First of all, as a child and teen she's living with this oppressive and physically abusive aunt. She's barely surviving. I doubt she had the time or freedom to go on dates in high school. Then she gets to college. Her aunt doesn't want to shell out a bunch of money, so she goes to a local college, maybe a teaching college. She lives at home, she's shy as hell and she doesn't make friends her own age easily. She might not have even moved into her little cottage until she graduated college. You know, with the diploma in her hand she finds the small spark of rebellion necessary to force her aunt to let her move out. And now she's got her hands full with teaching. She hasn't even finished a whole year of teaching when Matilda gets put in her class, and then Wham! she's suddenly an adoptive mother. She's free of her Aunt, but she has a responsibility toward this girl. Luckily, its pretty easily, the girl is mature for her age and doesn't need a lot of mothering, but there you go. The girl is so wonderful to be around that Jenny doesn't feel the need to socialize that much with other people. Besides, she's growing in confidence as much as Matilda is growing in height at this time, learning how to have fun and all and all pretty much blossoming. These last couple years Matilda has been going to college, so maybe Jenny has the impetus to socialize more, but she's not really ready to date yet. Plus, by now its rather intimidating, since everybody else her age has been doing it for years. She'd rather drink some tea and read a book than go through the hassle.

Oops! I didn't mean to write an essay. But there you go. This is the kind of personal history that I think has led Jennifer to the place she is today. Your mileage may vary. R/R please, I'd love to hear your views!


	10. Collecting Data

A/N: In which I regurgitate every phrase I have ever heard about physics in one incomprehensible paragraph. Star trek writers would be proud of my command of Technobabble. Also, it has been 8 years since I was at Disneyland. This is all from memory and internet research.** I contradicted myself in the last chapter when I said Jenny had never been kissed. I went back to chapter five and deleted the lines where I said she had had some experience. Now the time/space continuum has been corrected and a black hole will not swallow this fic and everyone in it to the 11th dimension where Disney characters are all real. Aren't you relieved?  
**

The Blue Bayou Restaurant was attached to the recently remodeled Pirates of the Caribbean Ride. They were seated overlooking a veranda that looked out at a simulated outdoor swamp, which was actually the beginning of the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride. Since they had enjoyed this ride earlier today and seen people dinning at the restaurant then, it was interesting to be on the other side.

Jenny and Matilda ordered dinner. Matilda had never tasted Cajun style food, but she looked forward to it with relish. As they waited for their food to come, they chatted about different things, their favorite rides, for instance. Matilda's was Space Mountain. Jenny liked the Haunted House. They debated the merits of ambiance vs. sheer thrills back and forth, before finally agreeing that both had their merits.

"But remember how the room started stretching? Wasn't that incredible?"

Eventually the conversation died down, and both of them had looked petulantly down at the empty space in front of them. The food was taking a very long time to arrive. It had better be worth it when it finally did.

"Do you mind explaining to me exactly how your power works?" Jennifer finally asked.

Matilda frowned and considered the question carefully before answering. "Actually, I don't know. I've got theories, but I'm going to need to learn a lot more about Quantum Physics, stuff that hasn't even been discovered yet, in order to really get a clear picture of what's happening. What I do must involve both quantum mechanics and general relativity and the scientific community hasn't reconciled those two theories completely yet. String Theory has some interesting things to say on that front, but it hasn't really been proven in any conclusive way. Schrödinger's Paradox of the cat in the box who is both dead and alive at the same time has been itching at me for some time now. It's got something to do with the spin factor of quarks, it must have. I really think the answer is there somewhere, but I just can't seem to get to it. I'm going to need to learn a whole lot more, that's obvious."

Jenny was not dumb in anyway, and though she taught first graders, that was out of love, and not because she wasn't qualified to teach at a higher level. But she also wasn't a genius at science in the way Matilda was either, and while she tried to keep abreast of what the scientific community was up to, she was strictly a lay person in that regard. So she smiled weakly, and said, "That's all very interesting, with the cat and all, but I was really asking about what you've figured out from experience about your power."

"Oh. Sorry."

"No worries. What I want to know is, what exactly triggers it? What do you feel when you use it? What exactly can you do with it? How much control over it do you have? How is it different now from when you were a child? The more we know, the more likely we it is that we will figure out a way for you get it better under your control."

Matilda smirked. "Where do you want me to start? I'd answer them all at once, but I've only got one mouth."

Jenny smiled, but thought about the question seriously. "What exactly triggers it? And what triggered it when you were a child?"

"Attraction." Matilda said promptly, then looked at Miss Honey meaningfully. She raised the spoon on the napkin next to Jenny telekinetically and drew it softly across her hand.

Jenny started at the cold metal touch, then grabbed the spoon and placed it firmly back on the napkin. She shot a warning glance at Matilda.

"And arousal," Matilda continued, as if nothing had occurred. "When I get 'turned on,' to use a crass phrase, it gets a lot more powerful. The more 'turned on' I am, the more powerful. Also, it grows in power if I don't use it."

Jenny nodded. She'd guessed at this, although she and Matilda had never had a conversation this frank about it before.

"What about when you were a child?"

"Anger- that most of all. And, boredom, I suppose, as well. I wanted to know so much, and nobody would help me get that knowledge. My mind was always hungry for distraction back then."

Jenny suddenly had a thought. "Matilda, can you remember any time when you did NOT levitate something when you were angry?"

"No…?" Matilda said, slowly.

"And did you ever do things on accident when you were mad?"

"Constantly. I'd even say most of the time, actually."

"I think we've been looking at this from the wrong point of view entirely."

"Really?" Matilda asked.

"You keep wondering why you can't control it now, when you could when you were a child. I'd venture to say, you've never had control over when you needed to use your powers. You don't think of it that way now, since when you were a kid, it was fun. Now it's a bother."

Matilda nodded, slowly, considering. "You may be right. But it's a lot more uncontrollable now. Can you explain that?"

"Actually I can. It's the difference between boredom and attraction, and the difference between arousal and anger."

"Boredom is alleviated when you become interested in something. Attraction doesn't disappear like that. You are either attracted to somebody or you are not."

"That's the truth." Matilda said, somewhat bitterly.

"Anger is an emotion that comes up quick and can leave even quicker. For instance, you might get mad, then you slap someone, then suddenly you're not angry anymore. Getting even soothes it. You could and did use your powers to get even, when you were a child, quite frequently. Arousal is different, right?"

"Arousal builds." Matilda said, getting into the conversation. "It doubles on itself. It fades slowly, even if you don't do anything to encourage it. Although, I think it is like anger in that it will go away after you have sated it" Matilda reflected philosophically. "It might disappear after a person has reached orgasm. Before you ask," she put up a hand, "No I haven't. I read books."

"Uh, your dinner?"

Matilda and Jenny looked up to see that their waiter had appeared with a cart of food. He had red hair, he looked about college age, and he was blushing as only a redheaded young man can do. He must have got an earful.

He gave them their plates, and then lingered a bit.

"What?" Matilda asked him point blank.

"You were talking about p-powers?"

"Yes." Matilda said, ignoring the kick Jenny gave her under the table.

"For my RPG. I have a character with a telekinetic ability that gets stronger when she's turned on," she said bluntly.

"Oh cool! That's a great idea," the boy said, "what about her?" He knocked his head toward Miss Honey.

"Her character is a school teacher."

"That's HOT!" the boy said enthusiastically.

"I know, isn't it?" Matilda agreed, winking at Jenny.

Suddenly the boy pulled out his pad of paper and pen and wrote down something on it, handing it to Matilda.

"Sorry I've got to go, working for The Man you know, but here, text me sometime." He hurried away.

Matilda looked down at what was written on the paper, snorted, and then slid it into her pocket. When she was done, she saw that Jenny was looking at her curiously.

"I speak college-studentese. Which is very related to geek-ese by the way."

"Was that his phone number?"

"Nope, his AIM chatname."

At Miss Honey's blank look, she laughed. "The internet. It's a great invention, you know."

"I use the internet." Miss Honey said defensively.

"Let me guess, to look up lesson plans, and keep up with current events through BBC?" When Jenny didn't disagree, Matilda asked, "Do you even have an email account?"

".," Miss Honey intoned promptly.

"Let me rephrase. Do you check it?"

"Never."

"I rest my case."

The two women dug into their dishes. The food was so good they didn't say much more than 'pass the salt' to each other.

"Unnngg" Matilda groaned, loosening her belt. Jennifer, as always with an eye toward decorum, silently agreed. They had both pushed away from the table, and now they blinked at each other sleepily.

"Would you like some dessert?" It was the redheaded boy, also known in some circles as L33TF1R3, and he was smirking. Matilda groaned again in response. He put a dessert menu, complete with mouthwateringly delicious pictures, in front of her. She looked it over, then handed it to Miss Honey.

Miss Honey looked at some of the pictures. No, her stomach said. Yes, her mouth said. "Come back and ask again in 15 minutes."

"Sure thing," The boy said, and with a grace that you would not have guessed he possessed, he topped their water glasses off before he left.

"So, we've made some progress on the question of what triggers it. Now lets talk more about what it is," Jenny said, bringing them back to the conversation they had been having before being interrupted by dinner.

Matilda, having decided that groaning really could convey everything necessary to human interaction, did that again.

"None of that, we are making progress! Now, try to describe what it feels like in your mind before and when you use your power."

"Jenny, can you describe what it _feels_ like to think a thought?"

"Try."

"Well, it might be easier to describe what it's like before I use my power. When my power is building up, my eyes start to get warm, although warm is not quite the right word. And there is a sense of pressure."

"I don't really understand."

"Let me show you. Close your eyes."

Matilda stood up and walked around behind Jennifer's chair. This was a bit awkward to do in a crowded Restaurant, but then it would have been even more awkward if they were alone. As she walked, she was rubbing her hands together as hard and as fast as she could, building up friction. Then, standing behind Jenny's chair, she reached around and placed the palms of her hands against Jenny's closed eyelids.

"See, warmth and pressure."

Yes, Jenny did see. Actually, she didn't see but that was because Matilda's hands were still pressed against her eyes. She reached up and gently pried them away. Matilda was reluctant to leave though. She sort of wrapped her arms around Jenny's shoulders and pressed her head against her hair.

"Matilda."

"Sorry." Matilda went back to chair.

Jenny sighed. Matilda had been surprisingly good all night, even though they were basically discussing her sex life and the reason she couldn't have one.

"So that's what your power feels like inside. What about when it leaves," Jenny asked gently.

"It sort of just shoots out my eyes." Matilda made a vague motion with her hand.

"I have no idea what that means."

"My eyes heat up as it leaves, although never so much that it burns. The pressure decreases though. If the pressure is small, all I need to do look at something small and pick up it up. If the pressure is big I need to pick up something heavier or even better, a lot of things and make them do something complicated. That soaks up a lot of power, for some reason.

"So, picking up say, two pounds of marbles would consume more power than picking up a single two pound rock?" Jenny asked.

"You got it."

"Huh." Jenny contemplated this for a while. Finally, she asked, "Do you want dessert?"

"Not really," Matilda said. She was suddenly feeling very tired. The day had been an extremely long one, as well as emotionally exhausting.

Jenny agreed. She had, to put it mildly, a lot to think about.

* * *

Sorry this chapter was so boring! The next one will more than make up for it.


	11. Innitial Test

"Matilda, what do you say we cut it 'quits' early and head back to the Hotel?" Jenny asked casually.

Matilda checked her watch. It was only about 1:30. They were eating lunch at Pluto's Dog House, and can you guess the menu? In two and a half days, they had nearly exhausted all the rides at Disneyland, including the little kid's ones. They had one more day left, before they would head home on a late flight tomorrow night. They'd planned it that way so that they would be able to sleep.

"Sure, no problem" she said, "But why?"

"I would like to do some shopping." Jenny said, with a broad wink.

Matilda blinked back. She didn't get it.

"Hmm, your birthday is coming up so soon, isn't it?" Jenny commented significantly.

"Ooh, I got it," Matilda said, getting it. "Fine by me. I was hoping to get a chance to check out the pool anyway."

"Perfect."

So that was what Jenny was doing now at a local Mall within walking distance of the hotel. She found Matilda some presents, yes, and found herself buying herself a new purse as well. As she was shopping she was thinking about all that Matilda had told her about how her telekinesis worked, especially about how it seemed to be connected to her eyesight.

That gave her an idea. While in a Macy's department store -- the same one, incidentally, where she found the purse -- she bought a black satin scarf. Then she went into a Toys-R-US Store and bought a two pound sack of marbles and a plastic pail to put them in.

She got back to the hotel room to find it empty. Matilda must still be down at the pool. She turned on the Television and started to flip channels. Eventually she settled on a marathon of an American show called House MD which had UK Actor Hugh Lorrie on it playing an acerbic and crippled diagnostician who seemed to want to bone his best friend, the head Oncologist. It was funny to hear Hugh put on an American accent.

At around 4:30 pm, Matilda arrived back at the room. Her hair was dripping wet and she was wrapped in one of the large fluffy white bathrobes that came with the room. Jenny had hidden Matilda's presents in her bag, but she had put the marbles in the bucket on the counter next to the TV.

Naturally, the first thing Matilda said was "What are the marbles for?"

Now Jenny found herself stuttering, something, as a teacher who talked spontaneously in front of children every day, she never did. "I was uh, I was uh…" She hadn't at all expected to have to explain this so soon, though in retrospect she should have done something else with the marbles. Finally, she settled herself. This wasn't embarrassing at all, she told herself firmly. She swallowed, and then started again: "I was thinking about what you said about your powers last night. I came up with an idea, while I was shopping that might be testable in a controlled way." She did not blush. It was a miracle.

Matilda did blush. Matilda had tested her powers in multiple ways before and never managed to be able to control anything, and while she knew that there was no way this test could be anything like 'those' tests, she had no idea how they could be different. Therefore, the blush.

"Go on," she said, horribly curious.

"You told me that your power comes from your eyes. You can only affect things which you can see."

"Yes, but I can keep things moving after I stop looking at them if I set a pattern in time and space."

Jennifer nodded, and added as an afterthought, "You know, you must have an immense ability toward spatial reasoning. That's supposed to be unusual for a girl."

"Yeah, I suppose so," Matilda said. She'd never really thought about it. She already knew she was unusual for her intelligence alone. She considered this as just yet another form of intelligence.

"But, what I meant is that you absolutely must see it first. You can't move anything by visualizing it with your eyes closed."

"No," Matilda said, firmly.

"So, what would happen if you weren't able to see?" Jenny said, seeing if her brightest student could follow her reasoning.

"Oh, no, I've tried _that_ already. Eventually the pressure got to be so much that I had to open my eyes." She blushed again, and concentrated on not imagining any images at all. "You remember that time when I made the house shake like an Earthquake?"

"I remember," Jenny said evenly.

"That was when I tried that. But my power grew in me so much that I couldn't help it, I opened my eyes. I sort of just threw the power at the walls of my room, all at once, hoping that they would, I don't know, anchor it somehow. I wasn't thinking all that clearly at the time."

Jenny cleared her throat before talking. "Mm, yes. But I wasn't actually talking about just closing your eyes," and now Miss Honey drew something black and soft from her purse.

_That purse is new_ Matilda thought, distractedly, and then she realized what it was that Jennifer was holding, bunched lightly in her hands. A black silk scarf. She felt her stomach flutter in nervous anticipation. She thought furiously - _The hotel falling on top of us, people screaming, debris, crushed broken bones. _It was no use. The beast behind her eyes had awoken. She searched furiously and saw a book lying on her bed, in front of which Jennifer was currently standing.

Jennifer. Ever since she'd told Jenny about her attraction toward her, her mind had started calling the woman Jennifer, something she'd never done in the past.

"This is a bad idea, Jenny." Matilda said. No, her body sang, this was a very good idea. "We don't know what might happen. I could hurt you."

"That's what the marbles are for, and whatever the case, I'm sure it will be perfectly safe."

_For you, maybe but I think this might just break me,_ Matilda thought melodramatically.

"Alright, we just need to set the parameters of the experiment." _An Experiment. Yes. The scientific testing of a hypothesis._ It was the only way that Jenny could rationalize this plan. _I just want to help Matilda. This might lead to a cure._

"Now?" Matilda squeaked.

"Do you want to do it later? After dinner maybe? You must be hungry, since you just spent the last couple hours swimming."

"N-no!" Matilda said, a bit louder than she meant. The anticipation would probably kill her by then.

"Ok, then. Parameters: I'm just going to touch you on your arm." She frowned and then asked, "That will work right?"

"Miss Honey, look to your left." was all Matilda could say.

Jenny looked to her left, and saw a book floating beside her shoulder.

"I see. Ok then. Good." She pulled a chair that came with the room near to her bed, so that she would be able to reach Matilda while she sat in it. "You just sit here. When you have to, tell me when you need me to stop, or I'll decide when I think it's gone on long enough."

Matilda sat. At this point, her brain had gone on a little vacation, leaving her on autopilot. She put her hands at her sides, then brought them together and clasped them in her lap.

Jenny put the bucket of marbles on the bed next to where she was going to sit.

But first she folded the scarf about 3 times, so that it was it was completely opaque. No light would be able to come through at all. As an extra precaution, she turned off the electrical lights and closed the window shades. She could still see, since it was daylight outside and some light still seeped in through the closed shades, but it was much darker in the room. Then she stood behind Matilda began to tie the scarf around her head.

Matilda, her eyes already closed, felt the silky soft material of the scarf slide against her face like a caress. Jenny pulled it tight and tied it in a firm knot.

"Matilda," she said; her voice rather soft, "drop the book."

Matilda found that small little place in her mind that still held the book up in the air and shut it off. Immediately, she felt the beast behind her eyes grow stronger, still bearable, but more noticeable.

"Open your eyes."

Matilda opened her eyes into blackness so pitch it was exactly the same as keeping them closed.

"Can you see the scarf?"

She was expected to speak during this thing? Had that been in the agreed parameters?

"No," she managed.

"Can you move it with your mind? Try and take it off."

Matilda tentatively tried to direct a bit of her power at the blackness in front of her face. But there was nothing to see. She couldn't latch it on to anything at all. It made her power restless though. She did not know when she had started to think of her power as a living being, but since it certainly wasn't under her control, she found the metaphor fit a little too well.

"I cannot." Matilda said clearly.

"I thought so," said Jenny. Technically, she supposed that she could end the test now. Matilda couldn't direct her power anywhere when she was completely blind.

And yet, the parameters of the test had been that she would touch Matilda on her arm until Matilda told her to stop. So, she sat on the bed in front of Matilda, and took one of her hands in her own.

"I'm going to touch your arm now," she said by way of warning. And then she paused. "I can't touch your arm through your robe. Slip your shoulder out."

Matilda, with a little bit of Jenny's help, managed to get her shoulder out off its sleeve. Matilda felt a bit as if she was burning up. She knew her whole body was blushing, as her heart pumped blood everywhere at a furious pace, determined that every one of the nerves in her body have all the nutrients they needed to send clear information to her brain.

Even though she had helped tug Matilda's sleeve off, Jenny had managed not to touch her skin at all, except for her hand. As soon as her hand touched Matilda's shoulder and lightly ran down it, Jennifer's mind could no longer trick herself into thinking this was anything except wildly inappropriate. She taught "Good touch, Bad touch" to her students, so she knew. Although this was supposed to be a test, she was in no way a doctor. This was definitely in the realm of bad touch. As her mind desperately tried to send signals to her hand for it to cease and desist, her hand blithely ignored them and continued its leisurely path up and down Matilda's arm.

From Matilda's blind point of view, she thought she might start hyperventilating soon. Jenny's hand, with the lightest most whispery touch possible, kept tracing a path from her shoulder down to her hand, and out to the tips of her fingers, than back up again. Jennifer, she knew, was without a doubt, attempting to make her insane. The Beast, as she had so nicknamed her power, was roaring to come out. Heat that was not exactly heat and pressure that was not exactly pressure was building up within her. It was like holding her breath underwater, eventually her mouth would gulp for air, whether there was some to be found or not, so she'd better come up and get her head out of the water before she drowned.

Then Jenny's hand came up and caressed her neck, tangling her fingers lightly in Matilda's hair.

Jenny had been watching the expression on the face of the teenager in front of her. Matilda's mouth of was slightly open and she was breathing in an out at a slow measured pace. This seemed odd to her. Though she had never seen somebody becoming aroused in real life, she'd read enough books and seen enough movies to know that breathing in at out evenly was surely not a sign of it. It had been entirely in the pursuit of science that she had crossed her self made boundary and touched Matilda's neck and hair.

Matilda gasped, shuddering from head to toe, her hands grasping onto the seat of her chair like it was lifesaver. "Jennifer, Jenny, stop! I need to see. I need to see!" she whimpered. Even as she said this, her head was leaning into Jenny's hand, chasing the sensation.

Jenny whipped her hand back, knowing without a doubt that she had crossed a line, but not knowing exactly when she'd crossed it. Was is just now, or was it back in the department store, when she'd stood fingering the scarf on the rack?

Matilda ripped the scarf off her head and threw it on the ground. She could see. What could she see? Somehow, she managed to keep the beast at bay for the time it took to locate the bucket of marbles.

The marbles burst out of the bucket together like swarm of bees. But Matilda was in control of these bees. She spread them out around the room and set them in a dance that was a fractal exploded into the third dimension, each marble obeying a code that was written only in her head. The marbles went everywhere, but they didn't touch the walls, the TV, the floor, or the windows. They neared, but never violated the space of the two people what that stood shock still within this maelstrom of glass. Finally, after what seemed like hours of motion, but was actually only minutes, the marbles suddenly stopped moving entirely. Then, as one, they all fell to the floor with a sound that was exactly like rain.

Matilda slumped in her chair, mentally and physically exhausted.

"Jesus Christ! I'm sorry, Matilda, I should not have done that." Jenny said.

"I'm OK," Matilda reassured her, rubbing her hand against her face. It was still flaming red and her hands, at the extremities of her body, were much cooler. "But I guess you were wrong about your theory. I wasn't able to control anything."

"Don't be stupid," Jennifer announced.

It was a phrase that Matilda had never heard from her before, and she could do nothing but blink at the command.

"You proved _both_ of my hypotheses right.

"You had two of them?" Matilda asked. Genius though she was, she felt that she was failing Jennifer's command that she "don't be stupid" quite completely.

"A. When you could not see, you could not use your telekinesis at all. B. You didn't hurt me. You didn't even mess up anything in the room. You were in control."

Matilda looked at the marbles that were spread out across the breadth and width of the room and raised a skeptical eyebrow at Jennifer. Jenny's definition of 'in control' had to be one she had never heard of before.

"That's nothing. You didn't do anything destructive, is what I meant."

Matilda nodded. Then she realized how destructive 2 pounds of marbles being tossed around a room could have been, and paled.

"You shouldn't have been in here. That was way too dangerous! I could have killed you!" she scolded shrugging back into her robe angrily.

Jennifer grabbed her arm, careful to touch only the robed part, and said seriously, "I had complete and utter confidence that I was safe. I know you, Matilda, you wouldn't have hurt me."

Matilda pulled out of her grip, and went to sit dolefully on her bed.

"What was the point of this?" she asked. "After the scarf comes off, I'm still going to cause an explosion, pun most definitely intended," Matilda muttered.

"I've got a theory on that too. Don't worry, we won't test it," Jenny hurried to reassure her. "The reason your power is coming out in barely controllable spurts right now is because it's all bound up with a mental block in your head. It seems to connect best with emotions you are hiding, or are for some reason unable to express. When you were a child, the emotions it attached itself too were anger and boredom. Then it went away when you were no longer angry or intellectually stunted. Now you've begun going though puberty. That's a clue in and of itself as to why your power is choosing to show itself now after disappearing for 9 years."

Jenny looked into directly into Matilda's eyes, as if to search out any lie. "You've been hiding your attraction to me for a long time, right?"

Matilda could not hold the connection. She looked away. "Yeah, from myself as well," she said, "for at least a year."

"That's why your power is connected to your feelings of attraction and arousal."

"I know," Matilda said. And she did. She'd figured all this out ages ago.

"Then I think I know a way you could break the block."

"How?" Matilda asked in a voice devoid of hope.

"I think," and Jenny tried to figure out a way to say this that would not sound like it came out of a bad erotic novel (not that she read those, mind you) but failed.

"I am certain that if you ever reached climax without letting your power out, you'd break the block. Its bound up in emotions which you hide, so expressing those emotions, sating them, as you said before, should erase the block."

The conversation was too serious for Matilda to get embarrassed about the subject matter.

"How am I supposed to that?" she said crossly, "Even with the scarf, there is no way I'd be able to keep myself from ripping it off. When my power wants to come out, it has too. I could no more stop it than suffocate myself by holding my breath."

"Not if your hands were tied down." Jenny flushed deeply red as she realized the unintentional meaning of her words, especially when her mind perversely combined the image of Matilda made blind by the scarf with an image of her hands tied above her head at the same time.

Matilda was completely shocked, and even more turned on by words that she could not believe Jenny had had the audacity to say. But by now she was an old hand at finding things to do with her telekinetic power. She used it to pull all the marbles she could see into the middle of the room.

Jennifer politely ignored the marbles rolling off of her bed and onto the floor. "I guess you should probably try that with Shauna then, sometime after you get back."

The link to her power disappeared completely as Matilda felt an ill lurch in her gut. She had forgotten momentarily the crucial fact that Jennifer did _not_ share her feelings. Then she closed her eyes and considered the facts closely and rationally. She imagined letting Shauna bring her to orgasm. Her power barely flexed. Then she shook her head.

"No, I'm afraid that wouldn't work at all," she said.

"Why not?"

When Matilda looked into her eyes, Jennifer recognized the challenge within.

"Because I'm not in love with Shauna. I'm in love with you."

From somewhere in her subconscious mind, Jenny felt a surge of fierce satisfaction at those words. But she knew she could not, _ever,_ give rein to that feeling. Instead she spoke words that left her cold, words she wanted to take back even before they left her mouth.

"Then I guess you will just have to stop being in love with me."

Matilda looked and felt as if she had just been sucker-punched. She shook her head, ever so slightly. She could feel the tears that were trying to spring to her eyes, but she wouldn't let them out.

"I uh, I uh…" she looked down at herself. She was still in her robe and swimsuit. "I'm going to go take a shower," she finally said. She turned around and walked to the bathroom. Although she felt shaky inside, she would have been relieved to know that she projected a mien of perfect calm.

Jennifer gathered all the marbles she could find into the bucket. Matilda had managed to pull most of them to the center of the room already, so it was fairly easy. Then she went and turned on the TV to another House. M.D. episode. Somehow, she found it easy to not think of anything at all.


	12. Under the Water

Chapter 12: Under the Water

* * *

Matilda went straight to the bathtub and turned the shower on. She dropped her robe onto the ground, then stripped out of her conservative one-piece shirt. Naked, she looked, really looked, at herself in the mirror. Her hair, falling to her shoulders, was brown. Her body was not thin, but she wasn't chubby either. In fact she looked faintly athletic. Her legs were well toned from running, and she put in a couple hours at a gym each week, so her shoulders and arms had a small amount of definition as well. The gym membership, as well has being on the soccer team, were how she had convinced Jenny to let her take such a huge load of college classes, but to her surprise she now enjoyed both activities immensely. Moving on to her face, she decided that her nose was a bit sharp, but fit her face well. Her best features had to be her eyes, which were a deep rich brown and very expressive. She didn't know it, but Jenny would have said that her eyes were beautiful, but it was her smile that was her best feature, her true smile that was just this side of impish.

Looking at herself now, she felt extraordinarily average. Her hair was an average length, and an average color brown. She was of average height and weight, and her looks were average too. She'd never felt average before in her life, and the feeling was uncomfortable.

She tested the heat of the water before stepping in. First she shampooed her hair; then started soaping up the rest of her body. Presently, she realized that not only had she been damp from the pool, but that damn test had left her damp as well.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that Jenny had touched her like that and not meant any of it. How could she go back to longing from afar after feeling what it was like to have Jennifer run her fingers across her body with the intent to arouse her? How was she supposed to forget the feeling of Jenny's fingers tangling lightly in her hair and scrapping softly across the back of her neck? Wearing the blindfold, each touch had come out of nowhere, leaving her with nothing to focus on but the sensation itself.

Angrily, she pushed the water temperature from hot to cold, and gasped as what felt like ice water drenched her back and hair. Resolutely, she stood in the center of the torrent, letting it wash away the salted tears that streamed down her face, and letting its rush hide the sound of her sobs. She slid against the wall till she was sitting in the tub and let the water come down upon her.

That idiot should just kiss House and be done with it, Jenny thought irritably at the TV. Wilson had just dragged House to an incredibly painful funeral in honor of House's father. Wilson was pretending that he didn't care about House, and yet it was so clear he did, or he wouldn't have tried so hard to help House find closure with his dead dad. Now House was goading Wilson about his dead girlfriend. That was harsh, it was largely House's fault she had died in the first place. What would he do? Wow, it looks like Wilson is actually about to kiss him. He's turning, turning… Or, he could be turning to throw that bottle through that stained glass window. Huh. Hadn't expected that. But it seems that means they are friends again. Weird.

Jennifer looked up from the television when she heard the sound of a door swinging open. It was Matilda, done with her shower. She was in her robe again and she looked pale. Were her lips blue?

"Are you OK?" Jenny asked.

"What do you think?" Matilda said dully.

"It's just you look cold."

"I am," said Matilda. She was freezing, but not just her skin. It felt like the cold water had washed away all her emotions, leaving her in a place where nothing could affect her. She found her pajamas sitting folded at the foot of her bed, since she had neglected to grab them before she went into bathroom. Jenny must have set them out. How motherly.

She picked them up to bring them back into the bathroom so that she could change and leave Jenny in peace.

"No. Stay in here. I'm going to take a bath." Jenny said, grabbing her shower bag, which was already packed with her own pajamas and other toiletries.

Jenny changed out of her clothes and stuck her head through the shower curtains to turn on the water. She was immediately hit with a blast of freezing cold water, having forgotten to switch from shower to bath. About as close to cursing as she ever got, she turned the temperature knob from cold to warm. Now she knew she why Matilda had seemed to be freezing. She felt a small twinge of guilt, but tamped it down.

When the bathtub was halfway full of warm water, she slipped into it. Mmm, that felt good. She was holding a lot of tension in her body, she could tell. She soaped up a small hand towel that was provided by the Hotel and began to wash her body. Eventually, as she always did, she ran her fingers down between her legs, as part of her usual hygienic ritual.

Huh, that was odd. Her fingers were slick with something that felt like soap, although there had been none on her hand. She rubbed the slick liquid between her fingers; then blushed, even alone in the bathtub, when she realized what it was. Her body had become aroused while she was touching Matilda.

Jennifer liked to think she was a modern woman of the 21rst century, even though she did wear floral print dresses to work each day. Even so, she'd never masturbated. She knew what it was, of course. She'd just never bothered to try it. Now, curious, she slipped her finger back into her slit. Her finger grazed against a small hard nub of flesh, causing a curious sensation. She grazed her finger against it again. Clitoris, her mind supplied. This was her clit. She wrapped her fingers around it, and wow, it was slippery. She gave it a little tug. Ouch! Too much, that hurt. Instead she pressed down on it, and realized that this was the sensation she was looking for. She pressed her fingers along the tissue on either side and underneath her clit and found that it was all sensitive in the same way, to varying degrees.

Matilda has done this, her mind told her. The thought caused the pleasure slowly building up in her body to intensify sharply onto another level. Her fingers began to be surer, seeking more of the feeling that was, as Matilda herself had explained, building upon itself and doubling. Abruptly, she cut off her motions and pulled her hand away as if scalded by the images she had been thinking about.

She had to get herself under control. It was one thing for Matilda to be attracted to her. She was young, immature and could not be expected to make all the best decisions. But she, Jennifer Honey, had accepted the responsibility of being Matilda's Legal Guardian. She was supposed to be acting like her mother. Not blindfolding her, pulling her bathrobe off, and then stroking her arm and neck like a lover would. _Mother, not lover, mother, not lover_ her mind taunted her cruelly.

It was Matilda's fault though; moping around, acting like her life was so horrible just because she couldn't have an orgasm without causing a localized earthquake. What was the big deal? Jenny had never had an orgasm in her life and she was 30. _I'm twice Matilda's age, _she thought with a pang. What was the big deal?

She reached her hand down and slid her fingers across her clit again, and though she hadn't been touching herself for a while, the pleasure built up quickly. _Arousal fades slowly, even if you don't do anything to encourage it._ With her other hand, she started touching her breast, first lightly, then more firmly as she felt how good it made her feel. She rolled a nipple between her fingers and as that added a new dimension to what she was feeling she wondered _How much of this would Matilda be able to take before she had let her power out?_ Not much, if a few soft touches on the arm had her begging to take the blindfold off. Jenny ignored the fact entirely that Matilda had been blind as well and was being touched by someone she was in love with for the first time.

She felt the pleasure building and building, and though it was centered in the area around her clit, it involved her whole body, her skin where the water lapped at it, her breasts of course, but also her mind, which was currently focusing on how Matilda's throat had looked as she leaned her head into Jenny's caress.

She came, curled around her hand which pressed rhythmically against the one organ in the human body that is wholly devoted to providing pleasure.

Breathing hard, waves of pleasure still rippling across her body and coating her fingers in cum, Jenny realized two things. A) She was extremely attracted to her teenaged adoptive daughter. B) She wanted Matilda to be able to experience this.

She wanted Matilda to be able to have sexual relationships with people without being afraid that she would hurt them on accident. She wanted her to be able to climax alone or in the arms of another, but whatever the case be able to feel without fear all the pleasure her own body to give her.

_Then you know what to do,_ her mind told her, and briefly she imagined helping Matilda break through her block. _Matilda tied to the headboard of her bed, straining to get free yet leaning into the Jenny's caress that ventured far beyond the relatively safe area of just her arm. _

And then she ruthlessly squashed the thought. Matilda's block was in place because of the feelings she had hid from Jenny. Either Jenny would have to help her through the block, or Matilda would have to stop being in love with her. Jennifer was sure that either method would work, sure although she had no proof at all. One appealed to her right now immensely, but was wrong both in the eyes of the law and morally. The other left her feeling cold.

She had to make it so that Matilda was no longer in love with her. She had no idea whether it was possible for Matilda to stop being _in_ love with her and yet still love her. _What if she hates me?_ She could only pray that she would not.

* * *

A/N: Haha! I'm so damn mean! I show Jenny the light in the tunnel; then lead her straight in the wrong direction. I'm that mean little voice in her head that keeps supplying her with images of Matilda, if you hadn't already guessed. This is yet another chapter (My third so far) that I have written in a motel room in Pacifica, CA. Now, at 12:45 am, I am about to drive to Denny's and go find dinner.

[On the radio as I wrote this chapter] When a man loves a woman


	13. Splash Mountain

Chapter 13: Splash Mountain

* * *

The next day started out bad and steadily became worse. Matilda was sullen and Jenny was silent. They'd planned to spend this day in the park; so they did. To do otherwise would have brought into open the fact that things were not well between them, and neither was actively willing to do that. They'd tortuously combed the park for each and every ride and attraction they'd missed in the preceding days. Finally, it was going on 3 o'clock when Matilda finally said something with enthusiasm.

"We forgot Splash Mountain.... I can not believe we forgot Splash Mountain!" Matilda grabbed Jenny's hand and started pulled her toward the one major ride they had forgotten. It was in a portion of the park they had hit on the first day, but they'd skipped it because the line was too big.

The walk up to the top of the mountain was half of the experience of the ride. It was peppered with little recreated scenes from the movie upon which this ride was based, a partially animated, partially live-action feature called Song of the South. An interesting piece of trivia was that the movie was not currently available in its uncut form to American audiences, because of issues of real or perceived racism within the film. But it was available in the UK and in other parts of the world, which Matilda thought was funny, considering. Disney felt free to export to other countries what it was ashamed of in its own home. As they chatted about this, and about the old fashioned animatronics that controlled the puppets in the scenes, Jenny felt her heart lighten for the first time that day. Matilda was obviously enthralled.

They were soon in the fenced portion of the line that led directly to the ride part of this attraction. Things went well until Matilda got a glimpse of the ride itself. She grabbed Jenny's hand and pulled her out of the line. "I can't get on this ride with you," she said. Confused, Jenny craned her head and was able to get a glimpse the vehicle they were supposed to ride down the mountain. Splash Mountain was a waterfall themed ride and the vehicle was made to look like a hallowed out log. There were no proper seats on the thing. Two to three people- or three and a child- sat between each other's legs. Since both Matilda and Jenny were wearing their typical tourist garb of T-shirts and shorts this would make for a lot of skin contact.

"You take one log, and I'll take another down, OK?" Matilda said.

This seemed silly to Jenny. "It's only a short ride, I think we can manage it," she said, pulling Matilda back into the line.

Matilda eyed one of the crafts doubtfully. "I think you over estimate my control."

They'd had real fun for the first time that day, walking up the hill on the way to the ride. Going down separately would be like admittance that the day was a loss, so Jenny shrugged away her doubts and kept Matilda in line with her.

Soon they were in the front of the line, Jenny sat down first and pulled an extremely reluctant Matilda down in front of her. Feeling Matilda pressed against her, thigh against thigh, back against breasts, Jenny knew that the reason she'd insisted they ride together was because she was selfish, because she knew that she would soon have to start putting boundaries between them for Matilda's own good and she wanted to remember this trip to Disneyland as a fairy tale place where all things are possible. _You're sending mixed signals, _herself told her, and she told herself to shut up.

She realized that Matilda was shaking in her arms. _From this alone?_ But this was a lot, and she knew it, she couldn't remember the last time there had been this much full contact between them but for the briefest of hugs.

"Jenny, I don't know what to look at." Matilda said, her voice strangled with panic.

She was right, there was nothing around them but people and breakable animatronics and scene pieces. Without any other choice, Jenny brought her hand up and clasped it firmly over Matilda's eyes. "You'll be fine," she said, her voice next to Matilda's ear, and, with her other hand wrapped around Matilda's stomach and rubbing it gently, this wasn't at all like a mother reassuring her child.

They were released to free fall down the 50 ft waterfall. Adrenalin filled seconds later they were at the bottom, gliding along the small river that would spit them out at the end of the ride. When all was clear and nobody else in sight, Jenny spoke into Matilda's ear.

"I'm going to let you open your eyes soon. Look at the water when you do."

Matilda nodded. Jenny pulled her hand away from Matilda's face. Seconds later she saw a sphere of pure water rise gently out of the water. It was beautiful, bending light and spitting out the images on eaither side in a colidiascoped affect. Matilda let it hang beside them for few short seconds before letting it slip gently back under the surface.

The sphere fallowed them to the end of the ride, underwater but still holding its shape, which Jenny could see as a small bulge that occasionally broke the surface of the water. At the end of the ride Matilda jumped out of the boat as if it were on fire. By the time Jenny had exited the attraction, she saw her lying on a shaded grassy area near the exit of the ride. From the way her chest was heaving, Jenny could tell that she was breathing deeply.

A flash of color, and she noticed that there was a wall of digital photographs to her right. A lot of the attractions did this, automatically taking a picture mid-ride at the most thrilling point, which you could then choose to buy or not. Jenny's eyes automatically searched for and found the picture of the two of them. Her hand was clasped tightly over Matilda's eyes, her arm around her waist. Momentum was causing them to lean back, so that Matilda was basically lying in her arms, and with their mouths open in surprise, the only adjective that could fully describe the picture was 'erotic.'

* * *

* I have been trying to be as correct as possible when talking about Disneyland, since I know a lot of people may have visited there. But I've had to be creative in some aspects. I couldn't remember exactly how many people are seated in the Splash Mountain Ride, so I looked it up. In some pictures, there were as few as 3 people in the boat, in others as many as 6 (half of which were children.) Also, there are at least 3 different Splash Mountains around the world, some of which are completely different in regards log construction than the one at the California Disneyland. So, I just went for what made the most sense and impact in the fanfic. It may or may not be like that in real life.


	14. Home and Changed

On the plane trip home, Jenny managed to fall asleep almost as soon as the plane took off. Matilda was jealous. She tried to distract herself with the on-board movie 101 Dalmatians, in honor of their eventual touchdown in London. It was as if the ghost of Walt Disney was reluctant to let them out of his grasp. But soon she fell into a mood that could only be described as brooding. She looked over and saw that Jenny looked unfairly comfortable with her feet stretched out into the foot space of the empty seat between them and her head propped up with a pillow against the window.

Jenny. Matilda stared at Jenny. She had been getting the most infuriatingly mixed signals from the woman. At times, she was overattentive, packing her bags, concerned that she was warm enough, and clucking over her in general like a mother hen. She'd never acted like this before, not even when she had just adopted her at the age of 7. She'd given her plenty of space, making it abundantly clear that Matilda was an astonishingly capable young girl. Now she was treating Matilda as she had only when she was very sick with the flu. And perhaps that made sense, in a strange sort of way, as if Jenny had begun to unconsciously act as if she was sick with the fever. Fitting even, since the older woman often made her feel feverish.

And then, there were also times when Jenny acted almost distant to her; cold even. Last night, Jenny had basically ignored her all evening. She had finally had to suggest that they order room service or Jenny would have forgotten about it entirely. When Matilda had suggested a game of cards, Jenny had brushed her off. Finally, with nothing else to do, Matilda had purposefully brought up some good thoughts, as easy as resting her eyes lightly on Jenny's hair as she read, and practiced floating various objects across the room. Jenny had finally looked up when Matilda, irritated at her lack of response had tickled her chin with a feather.

"Would you quit it?" Jenny had snapped. "Go for a walk or something, you're driving me to distraction." Abashed, and realizing that Jenny perhaps didn't want to be reminded of her attraction, Matilda had took her advice and given her the peace she asked for. When she came back, a half hour later, the room was dark and Jenny was in bed. She hadn't responded to Matilda's soft spoken "Goodnight." Matilda fell asleep feeling vaguely unhappy.

The next day had continued in that vein until the anomaly of Splash Mountain. Matilda could find no satisfactory explanation for Jenny's behavior on Splash Mountain. If she was as uncomfortable with knowing about Matilda's attraction towards her as she had shown every sign of being, she shouldn't have pressed Matilda into an experience where her attraction would be so obvious. It made no sense, and the only explanation that fit was nearly impossible, and 87contradicted by everything that had previously happened that day.

Matilda was smart in all things but the ways of the heart, so she never considered the obvious: Jenny, having faced the truth of her uncomfortable attraction to her adoptive daughter, was putting walls up between them and trying to channel her caring into a more motherly aspect.

They left the LAX at 6pm, endured an 12 hour flight across all of America and the Atlantic and arrived at Heathrow at 2pm. If the math should confuse you, remember that California is 8 time zones away from Greenwich. After that, it was a 50 minute car ride home to a little hamlet south of the little town of Reading.

They arrived home and basically crashed, sleeping much of the day away and waking early in the morning.

* * *

At around 8am, Matilda called Shauna, and they agreed to meet out on the moor where they had taken that first eventful walk. As soon as she was within distance, Shauna punched Matilda hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Matilda whined.

"That's for not calling me once, even after you knew I was home."

Then Shauna pulled her in for a kiss. The kiss was leisurely, a comfortable moment for their mouths to reacquaint themselves. The kiss ended slowly, and when it was finally done Shauna took a step back and looked thoughtfully at Matilda.

"You're not levitating anything," she commented.

"No," said Matilda.

"You didn't cure your control problem, did you?" Shauna asked, doubtfully.

"No, I definitely did not," Matilda said, wringing her hands together nervously.

"Your breaking up with me, then?" Shauna finally asked.

Matilda nodded, then looked guiltily down at the ground.

"Oh good!" Shauna said in a relieved voice, pulling a confused Matilda in for a hug. "If you were not, I would have had to."

"You were going to break up with me?" Matilda asked, relieved as well and yet perversely slightly hurt at the same time.

"I'm sorry," Shauna said, meaning it. "Is it selfish that I want someone who I can kiss and touch?"

"No," Matilda said, meaning it as well, but feeling sad all the same.

"Friends still, I hope?"

Shauna put her hand out expectantly. Matilda took it and pulled her in for another hug.

"Of course, friends."

They walked home to Matilda's house and barricaded themselves in Matilda's room to chat about their weeks. Shauna sensed that a lot was being left out of the story, but didn't press. She had had an eventful week as well, one that she wasn't quite ready to share. Regardless, Miss Honey was hardly to be found. She was outside weeding the garden and harvesting some of the summer vegetables.

* * *

"Me and Shauna broke up." Matilda said one night, breaking the silence at the dinner table.

"Oh, I'm so sorry dear," said Jenny, looking concerned.

"No, it's fine. We are better friends anyway."

"Anything in particular bring this on?"

"Actually yes..." Matilda said, mentally lifting the salt to her side of the table. She'd been experimenting with how much Miss Honey would let her get away with. For the most part, Jenny seemed to be willing to ignore small moments of Telekinesis. But eventually, if Matilda lifted something very large, or was too blatant about the looks she darted at Jenny, Jenny would blush and then Matilda had to watch out or she'd get snapped at or worse. Once, Jenny had simply glared at her then left the table.

Matilda knew she was bothering the woman, but she couldn't seem to be able to stop. She had had enough with hiding her attraction. She wanted Jenny to deal with her as an adult again. If she didn't want Matilda, she would have to tell that to her, not hide behind this bizarre somewhat motherly/somewhat icy attitude she had recently taken on. Matilda did not like being treated as a child, and the more she was treated as one, the more childish her actions became. The more irritating Matilda was, the more Jenny retreated into iciness and the less motherly she acted, which suited Matilda just fine.

"I realized I'd rather be with someone I was passionate about than someone I just rather liked."

Jenny's response was a noncommittal "Hmmm."

* * *

The next day, Jenny picked up the phone and dialed a number she had found in the school directory.

"Hello, Mr. Spalding. Jim, I mean. Yes, this is Jenny. Yes, I'm fine, thank you. I was wondering… this summer is starting to drag on and I have a free schedule. Would you like to meet at Dodson's for a sandwich and a cup of coffee? Oh good. See you in an hour."

Putting the phone down, Jenny reflected that it was both harder and easier than she had expected to ask someone out on a date.


	15. First Date

**A/N: **I've been writing roughly one chapter a night for the last few nights, and I would have posted them, but frankly, posting was getting to be a bother. So I decided to wait until I had a proper offering. Now I do: four chapters, just for my fans.

* * *

Mr Spalding - Jim- as Jenny had to remind herself frequently, met Jenny with a reserved hug, then stepped back to judge her reaction. When she gave him a small smile, as if to say, 'yes, I did mean this as a date,' he smiled broadly at her and led her to a stool at the counter.

"I hope this is OK?" he said, gesturing toward the stools as they sat down, "I've always loved to sit at the counter." In explanation, he wiggled his butt and did a little spin, coming around to face her with a rather boyish grin on his face.

Jenny laughed, delighted. This was exactly why she had chosen to ask him on her first date. At 35, he had been a teacher at Crunchem Hall for shortly longer than she had. The kids all liked him, for his sense of humor and because he was known to be relaxed, even lenient about missed assignments. He taught 5th and 6th grade math.

She also knew that he had a good heart in him. He'd done his best, which was not quite enough, but his honest best to protect his charges from The Trunchbull's worst rages. He'd have done more, except as a nontenured teacher he'd feared for his job. They all did. The Trunchbull had always been careful to dismiss or transfer teachers right before they reached tenure. The students had suffered the affects of this in constantly being subjected to new untried teachers as a result. And, of course these untried teachers dropped out at an alarming rate, sometimes halfway through the school year, under the duel strain of The Trunchbull and the children who mercilessly teased and pranked the new teachers, having no other way to work out their frustrations against an unfair system.

The other reason she had chosen him was because he had long ago made clear his longstanding attraction to her.

Miss Honey's response to the attention he paid her had been to flush and end the conversation as soon as possible, so he'd eventually stopped pressing, to the point that he never did any more. So it had been a gamble when Jenny had called him out of the blue just now.

But now she was glad she had.

Jim, knowing that the beautiful woman beside him was skittish for some reason, did his best to be both his most charming and nonthreatening self. He did not know where Jenny had found the gumption to call him (although he had noticed that she was attractively gaining more confidence every year) and now he wasn't going to ruin this chance for anything.

Buoyed by the success he had had in making her smile during lunch he asked her if she would like to go out for dinner with him the next day, a Friday. To his pleasure, she'd agreed. He nearly suggested she bring dancing shoes, but decided not to push his luck. He would pick her up at 6 and they'd go out to his favorite Italian Restaurant, one she had never been to.

Jenny had returned home quite pleased and still a little flushed from laughing so hard. She was in such good spirits that she spent the rest of the afternoon with Matilda and Shauna as they watched TV and later played cards.

For her part, Matilda was so overjoyed to see Jenny acting naturally around her that she refrained from taunting her. And so the day went by pleasantly for all.

The next day it looked like life in the Honey/Wormwood household was approaching some semblance of normal again. That is, until Miss Honey, ever so casually on the way to her shower, told Matilda that she would have to fend for herself when it came to dinner tonight.

"Why?" Matilda asked. Jenny loved to cook.

"I'm going out tonight," said Jenny. She refused to feel guilty for the alarmed expression on Matilda's face.

"Out? Like on a date?"

"Yes...." Jenny said, as if this was an entirely normal occurrence.

"With whom?" Matilda asked.

Jenny felt that Matilda had no right to use that suspicious tone of voice.

"With Mr. Spalding - Jim, I mean, from school."

"Mr. Spalding."

"He's a very nice man," Jenny said, defensive and irritated that she should feel that way.

"I see," said Matilda, her tone breezy, "He's nice and he's a man. Those are terrific reasons to date someone."

"He's also got a fine sense of humor and you have no right or reason to question me," Jenny snapped. Her good mood was falling to tatters.

Matilda opened her mouth as if to speak, closed it, scowled and went into her room, shutting the door behind her.

_It's for the best_ Jenny thought, and willed herself to believe.

This time, her dress was light blue and had very thin straps indeed. Although she tried to avoid her, Matilda caught sight of her about 10 minutes till 6 in the kitchen. All the cabinet doors in the room flapped restlessly. Jenny pulled her light jacket on self consciously.

"So, what time will you be home?" Matilda finally asked, looking down at the floor. She sounded really miserable, and yet again Jenny pushed feelings of guilt away.

"Why do you need to know?" Her tone was much harsher that she had meant it to be.

"So I know when to call the cops," Matilda answered, reacting to that harshness. "After 10? After 12? Or should I expect you home at all?"

"I wouldn't go home with him on a second date!" Jenny said, extremely offended.

"_Jim_ would."

"Jim is a gentleman!"

"Jim is a man."

"Yes, and you are a 15 year old girl with a crush, so you have no right to act like this."

Matilda gave her a pained look and Jenny knew she had gone to far. Or perhaps this was exactly where she should go. "Whether I come home or not is none of your business. And quit acting as if it is. I'm going to go out on my date, and when I get home, whenever I get home, I don't want you scowling at me, or slamming cabinet doors around me, or questioning me at all."

"Well, fuck if I care if you get raped then," Matilda spat angrily, then turned and ran up the stars to her room.

And Jenny felt bad, really and honestly bad. She knew the girl was worried about her, but she was jealous too, and so turned around by both emotions that she couldn't be expected to have an unbiased reaction. Jenny crept up the stars and knocked on Matilda's door.

"I don't care!" Matilda called through it.

"I'll be home before 10," Jenny said, loud enough to be heard.

Matilda went to the door, wrenched it open, yelled "I don't care!" as loud as she could, and slammed the door in Jenny's face.

Into that loud silence, the doorbell rang.

A/N: Angst, thy name is Teenager. Matilda is acting like a spoiled little brat, isn't she? But then, Jenny couldn't have handled it worse if she had tried. I bet you all want Jenny's date to go horribly, right? Mr. Spalding's nice guy act has got to be just that, an act, right? Well, that would be telling.


	16. 2nd Date

2nd Date

* * *

Jim knew at once that Miss Jenny was feeling off. She looked subdued, sad even, and she kept looking back at the house as she walked to his car. He didn't know what was bothering her, but he resolved to be a friend to her tonight. At once, he started into a funny story about some student's of his and the incredibly stupid way they had attempted to cheat on one of his tests.

"And then he threw away the cup? With all the answers taped to the inside?"

"Yes. Although I was staring at him all class because I'd never seen him drink coffee before. But then, to throw the cup in my trashcan! What about you, do your students ever do things like that?"

"No, they aren't that creative yet in first grade. Mostly they try to cheat by looking at each others papers. Or I've seen them cheat on spelling tests by writing on their arms."

They arrived at the Restaurant. Jim pulled Jenny's chair out for her, and she blushed, remembering that Matilda had done the same at the Blue Bayou.

The food was, incredible. The conversation was enjoyable. Knowing Jenny didn't like to be the center of attention, Jim focused most of the conversation on himself but without making it seem like he was self centered, or boasting; because most of his stories were funny ones where he was the punchline of the joke.

By the end of the night, around 9:15, after sharing a decadent slice of Chocolate Mousse Cake, Jenny decided to invite him into her home, tomorrow night, for dinner. Jim was very pleased.

When Jim dropped her off on at her door she let him kiss her chastely on the cheek.

Jim went walked back to his car whistling. Jenny was an old fashioned girl, in a lot of ways, he was finding out. She wouldn't just jump in the sack with him, she wanted to be courted. But although Jim rarely met women like that nowadays (though he remembered they had been like that in high school,) he was actually enjoying the challenge of it.

Matilda was sitting in the stairwell, reading a book, when Jenny walked in the door. She was in her pajamas and looked incredibly cute. As soon as she saw Jenny, Matilda stood up. She put on hand on the banister and smoothed in nervously. She took a deep breath. Jenny braced herself for whatever acerbic comment Matilda would bludgeon her with this time. But it never came.

"I'm sorry, Jenny!" Matilda said. "I'm really sorry."

Jenny stepped toward her and Matilda ran down the stairs, hugging her and crying onto her jacket.

"I shouldn't have said those things. You're right; I had no right. I'm sorry."

"You had every right to be concerned for me. And to ask me when I was coming home. I know Jim, I've worked with him for years, but you don't know him from Scott."

"If you've known him for years, why now? Why do you have to start dating him now?" Matilda knew she was whining.

Jenny stepped out of Matilda's grip, putting her hands on Matilda's shoulders and looking her in the eye. "Because I'm ready now. And because you are growing up, and someday you'll move out of this house and I am going to have to find a way to live without you. And that means dating."

"Are you going to kick me out?" Matilda asked, the lump in her throat making it hard to say at all.

"Never."

"Then I'll never leave." Matilda said, and the way she said it, it was final.

Jenny didn't press. She would, later, but now was not the time.

Matilda went and stood by the stairwell, one hand rubbing the banister again. "I know you said not to question you, but, did you have a good time?" she asked bravely.

Jenny could not help the smile that came to her face, although she knew it would hurt Matilda. "Yes, I had a very good time. I... I actually asked him to dinner tomorrow night."

Matilda felt like she was going to throw up. She drew in a deep breath, then let it out, then drew in another. With every part of her will, she managed to keep the irrational anger she felt out of her voice. "I'll spend the night at Shauna's, then," she said, her voice a raspy whisper. She turned to walk up the stairs.

"No, I want you to be here."

Matilda turned and shot Jenny a look filled with incredulity.

"You want me to be here?" she repeated Jenny's words with disbelief.

"I want you to meet him," Jenny explained.

"I don't want to meet him."

"I want you to see he's a good guy. That way you won't have to worry," Jenny said, her voice cajoling.

"Don't ask me to do this," Matilda groaned.

"Please?"

At first, Matilda was going to flat out refuse. But then, she reconsidered. If she was here, Jenny would probably be too sensitive of Matilda's feelings to invite him to her bed that night. If she wasn't here, Matilda had no idea what would happen.

So, after a long pause, she said, "OK"

So relieved was Jenny at her easy acquiescence that she forgot to be concerned. It was her own fault. She should have known Matilda better than that.

* * *


	17. Last Date

Jim arrived at the door promptly at 6pm. He was a math teacher, and it was in his nature to be prompt. Jenny was a first grade teacher and most confident in a storm of chaos. She was still straining the noodles, stirring the sauce and flipping the meat balls and could not pull herself away from the kitchen long enough to get the door. She stepped momentarily out of the kitchen and yelled up the stairway.

"Matilda! Get the door!"

Matilda took a long time getting to the door. Long enough that Jim, starting to become anxious, tapped the doorbell again.

Matilda opened the door, and Jim looked flustered. "Mr. Spalding, I presume?" Matilda asked.

"Who are you?"

Jenny had never mentioned a daughter, and she would have to have been very young for this teenager to be her daughter. Jim had reasonably taken this invitation into Jenny's home as an invitation to deepen their relationship but now he revised his plans into a meet the family formula. But he was still disappointed, hence the sharpness of his question.

Jenny, wiping her hands on her apron, got to the door to find Matilda and Jim staring at each other like hissing tomcats. She should have foreseen this, but she hadn't.

"Matilda, this is Mr. Spalding."

"Jim," Jim said, holding out his hand.

"Jim," Jenny agreed.

Matilda looked at Mr. Spalding's hand with disinterest.

"Jim, this is my best student and best friend Matilda."

Since Jenny had been so kind as to not introduce her as her adoptive daughter, or even worse, as her daughter plain and simple, Matilda relaxed, and shook the poor man's hand. Weakly, mind you, as if it was covered in nasty smelling slime.

"Take your coat off and relax," Jenny told him, then turned to Matilda, "Could I have your help in bringing things from the kitchen?"

"I'll help with that!" said Jim.

"No, no, go sit in the dining room, we've got it covered," Jenny said.

Jim went into the dining room, and sat down at one of the three table settings at the large table therein. He looked around with interest. He had known that Jenny was The Trunchbull's niece, but it had never occurred to him that she might be rich. He wasn't cad enough to want her more because of it, but it did change things a little bit.

In the kitchen, Jenny piled a salad dish into Matilda's hands. "You be nice," she ordered her. Matilda only looked at her with an innocent expression. Jenny sighed.

When they all sat down at the table, Jim was surprised to find himself the odd man out on the other side of the table from the two women. He could have sworn that he had sat down next to one of the two settings that were together. But there was one full setting in front of Matilda and another in front of Jenny. He didn't know when that could have happened.

This was only the beginning of his troubles. Somehow, Matilda had worked the conversation around to a highly textual comparison of Moliere's satire and Voltaire's irony, and the value of both. Jenny was enjoying it immensely, and had turned her chair toward Matilda to better discourse with her. Having read neither, Jim was out of his depth. He tried to bring the conversation around to something he could converse about. His mistake was that he chose math.

Matilda knew a lot about math. She also knew a lot more about the theoretics of mathematics than Mr. Spalding did. By the end of the conversation, she had managed to make the math teacher doubt whether 0 could actually be considered a number or not, and when and why, and how this affected our understanding of the universe, and negative space.

At about that time, Matilda started tickling his leg with a meat ball.

"What was that?" Jim said.

"What?" asked Jenny.

"That, I felt it again just now, against my legs. Like something was licking me. D-do you have cats?"

"No," Jenny said. Then she looked pointedly at Matilda.

Matilda levitated a napkin under the table and swiped it against Jim's leg.

"Ahh!" Mr. Spalding gasped, getting to his feet. "I'm sorry, I'm allergic to c-cats." He sneezed.

This, more than anything thing, propelled him out of the house. He was also feeling much less confident than he had when he arrived, and vaguely stupid as well.

Jenny turned at looked at Matilda. She was pissed off.

"I told you to be nice," she ground out.

Matilda, looking impish and completely satisfied with herself, said, "Well, it wasn't my fault that he couldn't keep up. Besides," she said, "That man is a total sap. You'd be tired of listening to him in a week."

"Go to your room."

"What? You can't be serious!"

"I am. I am completely serious," Jenny said. "If you are going to act like a child, no, like a rebellious teenager, I'm going to act like you are one too. Go to your room this instant, and don't come out tonight."

"Yes, mother," Matilda said in a voice that dripped sarcasm. She stalked up stairs and slammed her bedroom door behind her. The door rattled, starting to show the wear and tear of being slammed so often in the last few days.

Jenny rubbed her eyes tiredly, noticing that a headache was coming on fast.

Then she went outside to apologize to Mr. Spalding, to Jim -oh who was she kidding- to Mr. Spalding.

"I am so sorry about that. We do not have cats. That was just Matilda's bad idea of a joke."

"That's ok" Jim said, running his hands through his hair. "I guess I should be going, anyhow." He paused; then asked, "Could I get a good night kiss?"

When she didn't say no, he bent down to kiss her. At the last second, Jenny turned her head and his kiss brushed only against her cheek. Jenny had, at that moment, looked up at Matilda's window. As she had known, Matilda's face looked down at her. When she saw how Jenny had rebuffed the man, a look of triumph adorned her face.

"I didn't pass her test, did I?" Jim said, noticing where her gaze had gone.

"No," Jenny said, "But it wasn't a fair test. She's a genius." She sighed. "Jim, I don't understand teenagers."

"Well, I'm just a math teacher, not a genius, but I have nephews about her age," he paused, waiting until she nodded at him to continue, "Teenagers are actually a lot like adults. They just feel things more, or perhaps are worse at hiding what they feel."

Jenny considered this. "You know, you might not be a genius, but you are very smart."

As Jim walked back to his car, he reflected that while he had not gained a lover tonight, he might have gained a friend. He also reflected that Jenny was going to have her hands full with that girl. He'd gathered at dinner that Jenny had adopted her, but she certainly had considered herself his rival. And tonight at least, she had won.


	18. Let's Have a Teenage Rebellion

Shauna and Matilda were hanging out in Matilda room when Jenny stuck her head in the door. "I'm going shopping. Do you need anything, Matilda?" she asked.

"No, mother," Matilda said.

Jenny winced, but didn't object to the title that was technically correct.

"No, _mother?_" Shauna asked, when she had left. "You never call her mother."

Matilda shrugged, then rolled over on her back and let her head hang down off the side of the bed. She rolled her eyes, trying to see her hair.

"What do you think I would look like with a Mohawk?" she asked.

"A Mohawk, why?"

"_She_ said I was acting like a rebellious teenager. It got me thinking."

"You want into her pants so bad, don't you?"

Matilda flushed; then rolled over, her hair falling into her face. "How did you know?" she demanded.

"Mattie, I've known since the first time you kissed me."

Matilda groaned. "Am I that obvious?" she asked.

Shauna grinned. "Yes. Whenever you guys were in the same room, you practically radiated attraction at her, all the time."

"I'm sorry," Matilda said, "that must have sucked for you."

"Yes, but I knew nothing would ever happen. However... something must have, when you were in Disneyland." She looked at Matilda meaningfully.

"She found out. It wasn't hard, once I accidentally saw her naked." Matilda's blush was worse than ever. "Having this power is worse than being a boy with a hard on!"

"Yes, when you get turned on, _everything_ rises up."

Matilda's outraged shriek was drowned out by the sound of Shauna's giggles, as Matilda ruthlessly went for her tickle spots. By the end of the exertion, they were both laying on the floor staring at the ceiling. Matilda levitated a penny above her nose.

"Hey, did you just get turned on by tickling me?" Shauna asked, grinning wildly.

Matilda blushed. "Well, you know, skin contact, and everything. And you're still cute. I'm just, more focused on Jennifer now."

"I can tell. Are you serious about the Mohawk thing?"

"Why?" Matilda asked.

"I know someone who could do it."

A quick scribbled note pinned to the front door, and the girls were on their way to the bus stop.

On the bus, Matilda kept looking surreptitiously at Shauna. She was being strangely silent about who this mystery Mohawked one was. She hadn't even giving a pronoun. Plus, she kept blushing, or going silent mid sentence. Finally, they reached the center of town, and Sauna led her down a few blocks to an apartment building. The door was locked but there were a row of buttons, each referring to a different apartment number. Shauna pressed the 15th.

Presently, the door at the bottom unlocked and opened. Matilda got only a swift impression of a boy wearing a baseball cap and ratty motorcycle jacket before the boy swooped down and kissed Shauna. This was a deep kiss, a real tongue plundering, back pushed against the hallway wall, passionate lover's kiss. Shauna swooned into into the boy's mouth, one hand pressing against the wall behind her, the other curling around his waist. Matilda had never seen a kiss like that before, discounting at the movies, and it moved her more than she'd have expected it too. She levitated a pair shoes set out beside somebody's door. If just watching the kiss affected her this much, she had no idea what it did to Shauna. Eventually feeling too much like a voyeur, she coughed.

The boy pulled away, looking at Matilda in surprise.

"Oh," he said, and Matilda revised her first impression as she heard the soft voice, and got a better look at her face, because the person she had thought was a boy was actually a handsome girl instead. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." She had a soft Scottish burr to her voice, and Matilda thought she might just melt from a charisma induced coma.

Shauna was leaning against the wall, breathing hard and looking as thoroughly and well kissed as it was possible for a girl to look. There would be no help coming from that quarter.

"Matilda," Matilda said, holding out her hand.

"Mack," the boy said. Girl. Woman actually. If you looked at her expecting to see a male, you saw a cleanshaven boy of about 16. If you looked at her expecting to see a female, you saw a woman who could be anywhere between 18 and 28 years of age.

They shook hands.

Shauna, who finally seemed to be of use again, bit her lip and sent an apologetic look at Matilda.

"I met him when you were in Disneyland."

Matilda did not know what question to ask first. She went with the most pressing.

"You cheated on me!" she accused.

Shauna blushed.

Matilda took pity on her. "That's OK; I cheated on you too,"

"With who? No....you mean, you and Jenny?"

"It was just a little kiss." Matilda said.

"Wait a minute, you are both together?" Mack asked, confused and not a little angry.

"No."

"No!"

Matilda and Shauna both fell over each other to explain that, yes they had been, but no they weren't anymore and that there were no hard feelings, and that, as Matilda put it, "Are two people in a relationship if they haven't kissed in a month, even though they saw each other every other day?"

Mack conceded that she might have a point there, but still looked a bit upset at the idea of stealing someone's girlfriend.

"It's just not cool."

"So, not that I am complaining, why are you here today?" Mack asked. They were still standing around in the stairwell.

"You said, the other night, that you could give me a Mohawk, if I ever wanted."

"Do you want me too?" Mack asked, looking at her skeptically. "It would look good, but I thought you said your mother would never go for it."

Matilda, head still spinning at the fact that her best friend and very recent ex-girl friend had been seeing someone for a week without telling her, finally piped up, "No, that would be me."

Now Mack's expression became even more skeptical. "You want a Mohawk?"

Matilda bit her lip. It did not help.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you're a bit of a..."

"Nerd. The word is nerd."

"Uh, yeah."

Shauna stood up for her friend. "She's a lot tougher than she looks. She's graduating college next year."

That didn't convince Mack anymore than Matilda biting her lip did.

"She's trying to get into her adoptive mother's pants," Shauna finally said, ignoring the elbow in the stomach that got her.

Mack eyed Matilda considerately. "Now you are starting to get interesting. Does she like Mohawks?"

"Nope, I am positive that she hates them," Matilda confessed, "but she said I'm acting like a rebellious teenager. She has NOT seen rebellious teenager yet."

At the fierce grin on Matilda's face, Mack smiled with her, a reckless smile that had Matilda's knees trying to melt out from under her. "I like you. You know what? This will be free of charge. You pay for the dye and I'll cut your hair."

"Dye?" Matilda asked, or perhaps whimpered was the better word.

"Yeah, unless you want to go for the au natural look. That could work."

Matilda considered this for a second. "Rainbow. Can I do that?"

"Out and Proud? Alright with me."

They went on a shopping trip. While Mack was engaged in picking colors, Matilda drew Shauna aside for some serious catch up.

"Wow."

"Uh, yeah." Shauna grinned and blushed at the same time.

"Let me say that again. Wow."

"I know."

"I didn't know that was your type," Matilda said, swallowing a sudden lump in her throat. She was glad that she and Shauna were no longer together, glad but....

"I didn't know either. Not that you aren't my type either but..."

Matilda sighed, and ran her hand lightly through Shauna's short blond hair. "It's fine. I like her. I like you. I like you guys together."

"Sorry, I didn't tell you about her, but it was new. I wanted to keep her to myself."

Matilda thought she could love the shy smile on Shauna's face. It wasn't one she had ever seen before. Shauna always projected an aura of confidence that usually came out as brashness. This girl who was also a boy seemed to bring out a hidden feminine aspect. She was still Shauna, jock extraordinaire, but she was a jock who could swoon into someone's kiss.

"I meant to ask you about that. Sometimes you've called Mack a 'he' and other times you call Mack a 'she.'"

"I don't care which you call me," Mack said, startling them both. "I'm genderfuct. Gender queer. Neither or both. Whatever suits your fancy."

She turned around and showed Matilda the back of her leather Jacket. Patched on it was a label. 'The Glasgow Lords: Last of the Scottish Kings.'

"That's my troupe, or was. I used to be a drag king." At Matilda's blank look, Mack explained further, "You know what a drag queen is, right?" At Matilda's nod, she continued. "A Drag King is the opposite. We perform gender. Although, I personally think all gender is a performance that everyone is putting on at all times."

"And you don't uh, want to be a guy?"

At this, he frowned and looked uncertain. It made him look mortal for the first time and therefore more beautiful.

"Sometimes. I don't know. Not always. But sometimes more than others."

Shauna launched herself at him, wrapping him up in a hug. "What ever you want," she said fiercely into his ear, then she pulled away and caught his face in her hands, stroking it, "You can be whatever you want," she said and then kissed him, and Matilda knew that Shauna had been captivated by the same vulnerability that she had been caught by.

It hurt. Matilda knew that these two had only known each other a week, or a little more. But they were in love with each other, fiercely in love already. A love that had come on them fast and left them both breathless. Looking at them made her heart ache.

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Mack asked. She had the buzzer ready, plugged into the wall.

Matilda nodded.

"People will call you dyke and queer. Random guys will tell you they can make you straight as they their crotches and leer. Mother's will pull their children away from you. Your professor's won't trust your opinion anymore. Everyone will assume you do drugs. Are you really sure?"

"I've been the smartest girl in class in a school where being smart could and did see you physically abused. I can deal with it."

Max smiled, "I don't doubt it. You're fiercer than you look."

Even after saying those brave words, Matilda shuddered when the buzzer turned on. They had decided to buzz, not shave the parts of her head that would not be included in the Mohawk. Matilda had even bought a buzzer to take home with her so she could upkeep the look, should she want too.

While she worked, Mack put her hat on Shauna's head, and Matilda finally got a chance to see what a Mohawk looked like when down. Half her head was shaved bald, the other half covered by the Mohawk that lay over on its side. Her hair was simply blond. They had to bleach the Mohawk part, in order to get the colors to pop. The buzzed part they left brown.

Matilda looked into the mirror and tried to get accustomed to her new do. Blue at the bottom, moving to green, to yellow, to red, it looked like she had a rainbow on her head.

Mack's face was twisting as he tried to keep in his giggles.

"What?" Matilda finally asked.

"You look like baby dyke at her first pride parade," Mack finally busted. Matilda felt a blush break out. She looked at herself in the mirror again. Suddenly, without warning, tears burst out. She went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Mack sent an alarmed look at Shauna. "I thought she wanted this."

Shauna wrapped her arms around Mack from behind her and said, "She'll be fine. I bet she just remembered that when she was a little kid she used to tie her hair back with little red bows. I've seen pictures."

After Matilda had done the necessary big hair change crying jag and started to accept and even sort of like the way the Mohawk looked, Mack and Shauna dragged her to the used clothes store where they found clothes to match her new look.

* * *

So now here was Matilda, standing at her own front door, trying to get the courage to go inside. The black jacket she had already possessed was unzipped to show off the bravely v-cut red shirt they'd found for her. She had cleavage! They had convinced her to climb into the tightest black jeans they could find too. She was surprised to find out that she had an ass as well. She waited so long that finding courage became a moot point, because Jenny opened the door for her.

"Who-Matilda! What did you do? Where were you? It's after eight! I've been terrified, I looked everywhere! I drove all around town and I couldn't find you!" Jenny grabbed Matilda and shook her by the shoulders. "Don't do that to me again," she yelled, "I couldn't stand not knowing what had happened to you!"

Matilda, when she was finally able to talk, finally gasped out, "But I left a note!"

"I didn't see one."

Matilda ducked out the door, and looked around outside. Tucked behind a bush, she found the note. It must have blown off in the wind. She handed it to Jenny.

"'Out with Shauna. Be back later?' This is what you call a note? I don't understand you anymore, Matilda. Where are your brains?" Jenny pulled Matilda to her, and instead of shaking her again, crushed her in a hug.

Matilda felt Jenny shaking, and realized that she was crying. She petted Jenny's back. "I'm sorry Jennifer, I didn't mean to worry you. I'm really sorry." She found herself sniffling as well.

Jennifer pulled away from her, and touched the stiff fronds of her Mohawk. "What is this?" she asked, and Matilda was relieved not to hear anger in the question.

"This is me being a 'rebellious teenager.'" Matilda said, and she couldn't help it, she giggled nervously.

Jenny put her hand up to her eyes and wiped away some errant tears. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked the ceiling.

"Shag me?" Matilda couldn't help but quip, and attempted to run up the stairs before Jenny could respond.

"Your incorrigible," Jenny muttered, giving the little minx a slap on the butt (very fine in those pants) as she darted past.

As soon as Matilda had closed the door to her room, she slipped down to sit on the lower most step of the staircase. She found that she was still shaking. If anything had happened to Matilda... it would have devastated her. She'd known it when she'd found out that Matilda had gone to her Aunt's house (now their own) for a second time when they had just met. The feeling had only grown.

Jenny went up stairs to her room. She pulled out the picture that she had hidden within a Hans Christian Anderson Anthology and stared at it. She pressed it to her chest and lay back in her bed, wondering again out loud, "Matilda, what am I going to do with you?" Unspoken, but just as pressing, was the question of what she would do with herself.

A/N: I must confess. Since the minute I started writing Shauna, all those years ago, I have hated her. I have at times wanted to shove her head into a wall and splatter her brains across it. It wasn't until I got to this chapter and gave her Mack (based on the first girl/boy I ever crushed on) that I have finally started to like her. I think Mack is the puzzle piece to her character that she was always missing. In fact, I might even write a side story about how she met him/her. Later though; this story is about Matilda and Jenny. I hope Mack does not come off as a sort of Mack Sue. If anything, the person s/he is based on is even more charismatic.


	19. Gifts

_In her dream, Jennifer was falling down Splash mountain again, Matilda wrapped in her arms in the same intimate position as before. Matilda looked up into Jenny's eyes, and they kissed each other as they fell, Matilda's head turned toward her own. Jenny's hands made lazy, lazy circles on Matilda's stomach. They were naked and falling, falling and naked as one of Jenny's hands brushed over Matilda's nipple and another went further south. South was wet and warm in her hand. She was falling into wetness and warmth. Falling falling falling._

She fell

-in to her bed and woke up gasping, sweating with heat and need. Without thought, she rolled on to her stomach and pushed her hands under her pajama bottoms. She used both hands to press through the damp fabric of her underwear, and came quickly with a shudder that went through her whole body twice.

"Oh Matilda," she muttered out loud, breathing deaply. She felt the stiff edge of a piece of thick paper digging into her side and found she had rolled onto the picture of the two of them going down Splash Mountain. It was slightly wrinkled. She frowned at it, then tossed it into the trashcan by the side of her bed. Then, irritated at herself, she got up and pulled it out, hidding it again between the covers of the Hans Christian Anderson Anthology in her bookcase.

It was Matilda's birthday today, July 28th. Jenny crept down to the kitchen, not wanting to wake Matilda up. Once there, she put together a perfect breakfast of pancakes, toast, orange juice, and an egg scramble with bacon and potatoes. She placed the full plate on a tray along with a small vase of flowers and carefully carried them up to Matilda's room.

Matilda woke at the sound of the door opening. Still fuzzy with sleep, she stretched, her blanket falling down around her. Sometimes after she took baths at night, she went to bed naked, luxuriating in the feeling of clean sheets against her skin.

Jenny was not expecting this sight. She saw breast, then nipple, then dropped the tray. She pried open her eyes when instead of the crash she expected, she heard nothing. She saw the tray hovering, without even a tremble, about two inches below where she had been holding it.

She looked up at Matilda, who, blushing furiously, had pulled her blanket up around her. Jenny said the only thing that had come to her mind, "Good dream?" she asked, an eyebrow raised. Matilda pulled the tray towards herself and set it in her lap.

"The best kind," Matilda replied. Somehow, she had already started to collect herself. "I'm sorry," she said, offering a small embarrassed smile, "I should have remembered you liked to make me breakfast in bed on my birthday. I'd have warn a shirt." She picked up a fork and dug into the eggs, placing them in her mouth and moaning happily. Then she looked over at Jenny. "Where is yours?"

"I uh, I uh..." that stutter again, Matilda's moan had interrupted her train of thought.

"We can share," Matilda said decisively. She offered a syrup drizzled slice of pancake toward Jenny and her blanket slipped an inch.

"I have my own." And Jenny was backpedaling out of the room to go downstairs to pick up the tray that she had made for herself.

"You are so mean!" Matilda told herself, smiling ruefully. She did not put on a shirt though. That would mean getting out of bed, which defeated the purpose of breakfast in bed in the first place. Besides, she was curious about Jenny's flustered reaction to her. It was irritating; Jenny was so hard to read, and she did not have a power that constantly betrayed her feelings to the world.

When Jenny returned with her own tray, and sat down on the side of Matilda's bed - no other seats being available - she concentrated only on the tray and refused to do more than dart glances at Matilda that did not go below her face.

"So, who have you invited over for your birthday today?"

Matilda still did birthday parties, or rather, Jenny still gave her birthday parties, and even though she was now 16, Matilda still liked them. She liked having all her friends together, liked the games (they played hide and seek last year, childish but fun) and even liked being the center of attention.

"Shauna is coming, and she's bringing her boyfriend Mack." At the question in Jenny's eyes, Matilda smiled. "You'll see, Mack is cool. And Lavender is coming."

"Oh Lavender! I'm so glad."

"Yeah, she is back from the States for a holiday with her grandparents. I ran in to her on accident the other day and invited her."

Jenny nodded, pleased. Lavender had been Matilda's friend since 1rst grade, but her parents had moved to the United States two years ago, and Matilda had been struggling without her 'best friend' ever since.

"That's all actually," Matilda said.

"Alright, then I'll grab your tray and you can get dressed." Jenny leaned forward to pick up the tray.

Matilda had been noticing the nervous looks Jenny had been giving her while she ate. The first time the blanket had fallen had been an accident. But now she wanted to test her, or tease her or provoke her in some way. As Jenny put her hand on the tray, Matilda let her blanket drop another inch. Her nipples didn't show, but that was about all that did not.

She did _not_ imagine the tremble of the tray in Jenny's hand. Jenny looked up, and caught her eye. Matilda could not help the mischievous smile that that crossed her lips, even as Jenny's gaze became a glare.

Jenny stacked the trays angrily, and closed the door with more force than was necessary. Matilda knew she might regret it later, but right now she couldn't be sorry at all. Jenny was attracted to her. Perhaps it was only a little bit, and there was no way she'd ever admit it, but her reaction could be nothing else.

Matilda got dressed in a tank top and jeans. She combed out the tangled locks of her mohawk, but didn't make it stick up. As a last touch, she pulled a certain scarf out of the drawer and wrapped it around her neck. Perhaps a black silk scarf did not match her clothes. But that would only make it stand out all the more.

When Matilda arrived downstairs, Jenny was washing dishes. Matilda started helping out drying them. They worked in silence for a while, Jenny obviously still peeved. It wasn't until the last dish had found its way into the cupboard that Jenny actually turned to look at Matilda and saw what she was wearing.

"Don't wear that," she said, her voice tired.

"Why not? I thought it was a birthday present."

Jennifer looked more angry than Matilda had ever seen in her life, even more angry than she got at Matilda's father the first time she met him and found out what an uncaring idiot he was.

Struck by that anger, Matilda unraveled the scarf from around her neck and handed it to her, feeling hurt, although she knew she rather deserved it.

Jenny took the scarf in her hands and stared at it, confounded, as Matilda left the kitchen and went outside before she could react.

Matilda's birthday went well enough. Mack charmed both Lavender and Jenny with her gentlemanly ways (faintly ridiculous when you took in the fact that she looked like a punk teenager.) Jenny and Matilda avoided each other's eyes.

Then it came time for presents. Shauna gave Matilda a pair of goalie gloves, since it was a position she had played occasionally and wanted to continue with. Mack gave her a mixed CD with some bands she had recommended. Lavender gave her an IOU for a coffee date in the near future.

Then came Jennifer's turn. First, she handed her an oddly shaped object that was wrapped hap-hazardly in Mickey Mouse wrapping paper. Matilda took the object and squeezed it lightly. It gave a little in her hand when she pressed. A frown of curiosity on her face, she unwrapped the gift to find it was a stuffed Tigger. Immediately, a smile bloomed on her face. She squeezed him to her, grinning from ear to ear. At the strange looks her friends were giving her, she explained.

"When I was a kid, I was pretty rambunctious. One day, I knocked the Urn that held Jennifer's father's ashes off on the floor. I felt really awful, of course; I locked myself in my room and wouldn't come out. Finally Jenny said that I was like Tigger, and she was like Roo, and no matter the mess I made, I would always be Roo's friend."

All three of Matilda's friends looked at each other, then chorused, "Awww."

After the cooing had ended, Jenny hesitated then brought out a certain object, spilling the soft black material into Matilda's hands. "You are right," she said. "I did get this for your birthday. You can wear it whenever you like."

Matilda looked down at the silk scarf. She was conscious of the audience they had, all of whom watched with bated breath, recognizing that there was a subtext to their interaction. She wished Jenny had done this in private, but couldn't help but think she was doing this in public on purpose. It was safer that way.

Matilda put the scarf back in Jenny's hands, explaining cryptically. "I only want to wear it if you put it on me."

The message was clear as air to Jenny, and everybody else in the room could pretty much guess, even Lavender. Jenny shook her head minutely, but took the scarf back. Then she leaned forward and wrapped it securely around Matilda's neck. As her face passed close to Matilda's, she said quietly, "I do love you Matilda. No matter what."

Lavender leaned over and murmured into Shauna's ear. "Lover's quarrel?" she asked.

Shauna nodded slightly. "It's complicated," she muttered.

Lavender snorted. "Obviously."

Matilda and Jennifer pulled apart, once again looking anywhere but at each other. Shauna loudly called for a game of charades, intentionally breaking the awkward moment.

Later, after Shauna and Mack had taken their leave, Lavender stuck around. They went up to Matilda's room to play catch up some more.

"Soo," Lavender drawled, "You're gay and you are infatuated with your adoptive mother.

"She's more like my friend than mother," Matilda explained hastily, blushing

Lavender smiled indulgently.

"And I am way beyond infatuation," Matilda moaned morosely.

"Spill all."

Matilda did, even stuff she had never told Shauna. There was some stuff you just couldn't tell an ex - like how a soft touch on your arm had been the hottest thing you had ever experienced in your life - but you could tell a best friend, even if you hadn't seen said best friend in two years.

-----


	20. Progress

"Matilda, hold up a moment." Jenny called from the Kitchen as Matilda passed the entry on the way up the stairs.

"Yes, Jenny?"

"I wanted to put something past you." Matilda sat down at the kitchen table as Jenny continued chopping vegetables at the counter behind her. "I was thinking you might enjoy starting out this year at the dorms."

"Why?"

"For a start, to experience independence and socialize more with people of your age group. You don't really need to take PE with the 6th Formers, you could sign up with the collegiate teams. You're still a little young, but the average freshman is around 17, so I am sure you would fit in fine. Or you can drop the sports, I think you've succeeded in staying well rounded, despite the size of your brain."

"Actually, weight may be a bigger determiner of smarts than size." Matilda informed Jenny, like the teacher's pet she so unrepentantly was.

"Your brain must be obese, then."

Matilda smiled lopsidedly at the joke. "You forgot to mention it would separate me from you and perhaps allow me to let go of my unhealthy attraction to the woman in my life who was supposed to be a mother figure."

"I can't get anything past you, can I?" Jenny said putting down her knife and drawing her fingers through the fuzz on top of Matilda's head idly.

Matilda leaned into the caress and would have purred if she'd known how. She had buzzed the Mohawk off a week ago, coming to the conclusion that it was backwards to rebel in such a conformist way. Of course, that left her with 1 cm long reddish brown fuzz on the top of her head, which she loved for the simple fact that Jenny could not resist touching it. She wasn't alone in that, of course. Shawna and Lavender and even Mack had rubbed her head so often recently that she often joked about renting herself out to a petting zoo.

"What do you think?" Jenny asked.

"I love having a furry head."

Jenny burst into laughter, and mock slapped her up the side of the head. "About moving into the dorms this fall. You might as well, you will be graduating-"

"-finally-"

"-this year."

"I have thought about it, actually, and I think you're right. It will be a bit troublesome, what with my power control problem- unless you'd sleep with me?"

Jenny shook her head.

Matilda pouted with mock petulance. "But I think I can manage that. I've got pretty good control of how I let it out of the box nowadays."

Jenny's hands had begun to kneed Matilda's back and shoulders, which caused Matilda to groan contentedly and roll her shoulders into the touch. Yes, if she could have purred, she would have sounded like a well tended motor.

"So we have a yes then? I'll make sure to call the dean."

"Wait a minute, I do have a requirement." Matilda caught Jenny's arm as she stood up and with a slyly flirtatious look on her face, used to it to pull the semi reluctant Jenny closer to her, "You have to give me something you haven't given me in a long time.

Jenny laughed nervously. "Matilda, I'm not going to kiss you!"

Matilda feigned a blank look, "Who said anything about a kiss? I meant a hug."

"I can give you that." Jenny said, with small wince, for indeed it had been a long time since she had hugged Matilda. "My dearest friend," she murmured.

The embrace was innocent at first, but Jenny found that the longer she held her, the harder it was to let Matilda go. Jenny sensed Matilda's heart rate increase, which pushed her own up as well, and her own hands tightened around Matilda's waist until they seemed to clutch more than to comfort.

"Jenny," Matilda's voice was soft and sort of muffled against Jenny's chest, "I love you."

"I love you too." Jenny said, her voice coming out lower and rougher and more full of the truth than she'd meant it too.

Matilda's head came up and her eyes, wide with shock, looked in to Jenny's.

"Not like that!" Jenny lied feebly, pulling herself out of Matilda's arms and puting the kitchen table between them. "I am not attracted to you." Something she had said many times, but this time, it seemed much less convincing than usual.

"Liar."

"It's in your head.

"It may not be as obvious for you as it is for me," and Matilda juggled the fruit from the basket at the center of the table in front of her in example, "but you want me."

"I do not!"

"Then kiss me, just once."

"That's just nonsensical."

Matilda tilted her head and looked up Jenny, her eyes Bambi like.

"Oh, stop looking so pathetic." Jenny picked up her knife and started chopping vegetables again in self defense. Matilda took advantage of the fact that Jenny's hands were busy to wrap her arms around Jenny's middle and hug her from behind. Jenny's stomach rolled over nervously. She put the knife back down.

"Would you kiss me if the world was about to end? Say if a meteor was about to hit us?"

Matilda's hands remained safely around her middle, but one of them had somehow slipped beneath her shirt and lay softly on her stomach.

"Er?" Thought came slowly to Jenny's mind, though warning bells rang distantly.

"If it was my last request before we died? Would you kiss me then?"

"Uh..."

Matilda's hand barely stirred, but had the suggestion of straying upward, causing Jenny's stomach to writhe in ticklish sensations and her mouth to open automatically in a half gasp.

"Y-yes, probably, and..." she pulled Matilda's hands apart firmly and turned around to face her, "that is quite enough of that. You are being-"

"Naughty?"

"Oh God, please save me from Lolita's who think too much of themselves. Yes, you bad little girl. Now go to your room before I cut you, or myself. I'm trying to make dinner!" Jenny raised her knife threateningly, but however stern she tried to make herself look, her lips couldn't help but twist into an amused smile.

"Fine with me... Humphrey," Matilda taunted as she left the kitchen. Some of the fruit from the fruit basket followed merrily after.

Jenny sat down at the kitchen table and clasped her hands in front her. Her lips tingled. Her stomach still rolled in nervous anticipation. This was how Matilda had been for the last couple of weeks. Taking liberties, constantly flirting, ignoring any sign that she was getting into Jennifer's personal space. She was getting better at it and it was having its intended effect, that was for sure. Jenny had wracked her brain for any way to get Matilda out of the house, and the dorms were the only thing she had come up with. But it was still only half way through summer. With a month and a half left till the school year began, she did not know how she would manage not to give in to Matilda's constant little dares. What's more, she was finding it harder and harder to remember _why_ she should not give in.

---

Upstairs in her room, Matilda hugged her pillow to herself as she lay in her bed, a huge smile on her face as she reviewed what had just occurred. First of all, Jenny had been the first to initiate physical contact, petting her head and rubbing her shoulders. And then when Matilda asked for the hug, she didn't know which one of them had been more reluctant to let go. And Jenny had said she loved her, a treasured gem of a phrase that would warm Matilda's heart for weeks to come. She'd said it before, but in recent months, always flatly, as if to ignore the weight of the words and reduce them to platitudes. To top off, Matilda had (through devious means, sure) finagled Jenny into admitting that there were conditions under which she would kiss her.


	21. The Calm and the Storm

**A/N This is not a dead fic. I have never considered it a dead fic. I have also not been of the proper mind set to finish it.**

**The Calm and the Storm**

There was a quality to the air as if the house was holding its breath. Part of it was the heat. August was being disgusting, blanketing the city in a late wet heat wave, the worst in ages. The air was both crackling with electricity and completely, agonizingly, still.

Matilda would be moving into her new dorm room with a new roommate in nine days. Nothing significant had changed between Matilda and Jenny, except for something crucial that had. Something was simmering, in the heat, in the silence, between them. Matilda found herself opening her mouth to bring it up in conversation, but was unable to voice it. The hot slick air suffocated her. It was too much work to speak so her eyes did all the talking.

Large quantities of fresh lemonade were made, and drunk.

Jenny avoided Matilda's gaze as much as possible, and threw herself into preparing lesson plans for next year. It was a waiting game, she told herself, and after Matilda was living away in the dorms, the tension between them would have the space to diffuse. Jenny only needed to wait it out until then. This was not as easy as she'd hoped.

"Stop that." Jenny's voice was harsher than she meant it to be- from disappointment. She had been enjoying a small miraculous breeze that had sprung up suddenly, until she realized that it was caused by the movements of a paper fan that Matilda was powering through her telekinesis.

"I'm boooored." The long drawn out syllable was all teenager, as was the way that Matilda was poured out over the couch. Jenny found herself straightening primly in reaction, which irritated her further, because honestly, when was she prim?

"Take a walk, then."

"It's 'too hot." Matilda had forgone her usual overly enunciated style, her voice thick as honey.

"Go visit Shannon and go... swimming."

"She's fucking Max." There was no mistaking the ire in Matilda's voice. "Honestly, right now. At this very moment. How do I know? Because she just texted me. 'I'm fucking Max. Heart. Heart."

"Eh, sorry."

The fan beat faster, causing a greater breeze, but ever mindful of the fuel that powered Matilda's miraculous abilities, Jenny couldn't simply enjoy it. "Could you stop that?"

Jenny thought that perhaps Matilda had forgotten that she had control over the fan as other papers in the room rustled and stirred.

"It's not fair that Shannon has Max, and I have no one," Matilda grumbled. She seemed oblivious to the way the items in the house were reacting to her. Her mood seemed to have increased the static electricity in the room, causing the hair on Jenny's arms to rise.

Jennifer nodded, but said nothing. Matilda seemed to have less and less control over her powers, and that made Jennifer nervous. The part of her mind that controlled her powers was a subconscious part like the breath reflex. Something she could hold back, but not for long. And not in the sort of mood she seemed possessed by.

"She doesn't have to rub my face in it."

Jenny held her tongue.

"It's just not fair that they are so happy and here I am, just stuck here, repressing. I bet it's unhealthy to be this repressed."

Jenny lips twitched.

"Aarrg! I am just so horny right now!" Matilda finally exploded.

Jenny laughed loudly, shocked at Matilda's crassness.

"I mean it. I am sooo horny right now." Matilda jumped up, and as a demonstration and an expression of her frustration, she levitated nearly every small knick-knack in the room, sending them twirling about each madly for nearly a minute. Jenny could not help but marvel the skill Matilda demonstrated as she made the items dance around the room, never colliding, the path of each complex in its own right. Finally, Matilda set them all down, not quite gently, as though her telekinesis had run completely out.

"Evidently." Jenny said, now more amused than nervous. Nothing in the room was stirring any longer, the burst of kinesis having broken the spell of tension in the room. She looked directly at Matilda, and said wryly. "Feeling better now?"

Matilda collapsed backwards onto the couch and hid her face with a pillow. "Yes," she squeaked. She curled up on the couch in mortified silence as Jennifer became engrossed in her work again.

Until.

"Have you ever... been with someone?" Matilda asked.

"What?"

"It is just that I don't remember you ever even dating anyone other than that balding fellow-"

"- Spalding."

"-that I know of. Or have you?"

"No, I never have."

"Never? At all? Haven't you wanted to?"

"I don't know. I just wasn't interested. I used to wonder if I was asexual."

"Are you?" Matilda's heart sped up at the past tense..

Jenny bit her lip and considered for a moment. This revelation could make things very awkward between them, but she had never in her life been anything but truthful to Matilda.

"I never considered it, until recently, but I think that maybe I am a lesbian." Bombshell dropped, she braced for the outcome.

Matilda scrambled to her feet and came to stand beside Jennifer. "Woah, say that again?" she said, nearly vibrating with urgency.

"Stop that. It has nothing to do with you." Jennifer's voice was firm.

Matilda's jaw clenched, "It has everything in the world to do with me, Jennifer, and you know it. You can't expect me to just..."

"I expect you to live and bear it. I am a person in my own right, I'm not just the object of your love. You cannot will me to desire you the way you will something to float. You keep pushing and you won't take no for an answer. It's bothering me! You are bothering me." Jennifer spoke without really considering what she was going to say. But having said it, she decided it needed to be said. "I haven't said this before, but I am saying this now. Back off. I won't date anyone while you are still here because that would be cruel. But do you see how that is unfair for me? I'm having to put off my own growth. I have to be the grown up, because you are forcing me to be. I don't even... this is really new to me. Please don't... please don't..." Jenny broke off._ 'Use this against me,'_ was what she had been going to say, but that would be admitting that it could be used against her.

Here's the thing. Matilda had long recognised that the way she acted these past months was childish. All her life she had been the mature one, but at the mercy of her feelings it felt like she had no control. She wanted Jennifer. She wanted her right now. She wanted her forever. So she had pursued, although it was pointless. It would have taken more self control than she had ever possessed not to pursue, even though she knew Jennifer would never give in. The subtext that Matilda heard now under the Jennifer's plea was_ 'If you keep pushing... I will give in.'_

So she pushed.

She put her hands on either side of Jenny's face and leaned forward, pressing her lips against Jenny's slightly opened ones. Matilda did not know what she was expecting. To be slapped for her presumption. Or at the very least to be pushed away.

But Jenny did not push her away, nor pull away herself. She seemed to stop breathing, she went so still, but she did not pull away.

Even when Matilda opened her mouth and let the tip of her tongue wet Jenny's lip, Jennifer did not pull away. Her hand caressed Jennifer's cheek, the other slid through her hair. At last, breathing heavily, Matilda stepped back to look at Jennifer.

And finally saw the horror in Jennifer's eyes. Jenny, who could not move, who could not even breath, so transfixed was she by Matilda's powers. Jenny, who had not endured Matilda's kiss willingly, but who had been forced into it by the runaway train of Matilda's will.

"No!" Matilda cried and pushed the focus of her energy away from Jennifer. It smashed through a window, splintering it into a fine dust. About ten feet from the house was a venerable old Oak tree that had been there since this century old house was built. Matilda's power broke it's back. The tree groaned, a great splintering sound, then with a CRACK as loud as thunder, it broke like a pencil between the hands of a child.

Matilda sprinted up the stairs, tear blinded and stumbling. Self hate, a devil of an emotion, rose within her, and she gasped at its depth. Childish. She was childish. She had hurt Jenny because she hadn't even tried to control herself. _'I am a person in my own right, I'm not just the object of your love,'_ was what Jenny had said, and Matilda had steam rolled right over that. She had acted as if Jenny could be made to desire her, and whether or not Jenny did indeed desire her, Matilda did not deserve her. Childishness, and its opposite - to take responsibility. Matilda took responsibility for her actions... today and for the past months, and in doing so finally began to grow up. She cried.

Jenny gasped for breath. She couldn't do anything to stop Matilda from running away. As soon as she was able, Jenny leaped to her feet to follow after the girl, but she was winded, her heart thumping as the terror abated. For moments, her body was convinced that she was dying; her heart hardly able to pump, her lungs incapable of pulling air into her body. She clutched the staircase railing. "Wait," she croaked, barely a whisper. But Matilda was gone and the door to her room was shut.

Jenny glanced through glassless window. It looked like the road was deserted. The neighbor's car -the only one which could have been hit- was not in its parking space, and was therefore; safe. She was stunned by the destruction of branches and leaves, the splintered trunk, that the oak tree had become. It was a terrifying show of strength, something she had not been capable of imagining. The same force that had broken a centuries old tree like it was kindling had held her still with what was almost gentleness in comparison. Her body trembled with adrenalin. She sat down on the steps. She did not go up to Matilda's room.

Matilda stared out her window, stunned at the damage she had caused. What she could have done to Jenny...

What she had already done was unforgivable.


End file.
